The Year That Was...2005

This was my lame attempt to catch the last sunset of the year. I was out and about with the boys, Alex and his friend Sean, when I noticed that the sun would soon be setting.

As we were driving home I tried to catch a few shots from the car as I was driving and, well, that just never works out does it.

When we got home I rushed upstairs to my bathroom, which always gives me a beautiful view of the sunsets, and I realized it was nearly gone. I opened up the cameras whatever you call it to let the most light in (on a Holga it means pushing the button on the bottom to the other side) and pressed the camera up against the window in hopes of catching this last sunset of the year because today there will be no sun, only gray dull skies and rain later on.

But as you can see, the camera slid on the glass and left a distortion, so my sunset appears to be a raging fire at the base of the trees. Nevertheless, I think it's kind of a cool shot. What you see is not always what you get, so to speak.

2005 is now the year that was!

There are so many things to be grateful for!

Periods of darkness have left some of the people I love the most in life. The new year will hopefully dawn a new day for them and take them to where their dreams wait patiently.

Friends have come and gone, which I never expected, but have learned to deal with.

I learned that if you really put your heart into something you can instigate change and turn a rocky path into a sunlit stroll in the park and even though the occasional storm threatens to overwhelm and scare you, it will also make you stronger if you walk steadfast right through the middle of it.

I realized that no matter what age you are, you can recreate your future over and over and be whatever it is you want. You can change the whole world or just the small one you live in and make it a warmer and safer place to fall when you get weary.

I learned that the love of my life wakes beside me every day and keeps my heart from ever going to that lonely place we often think we're heading sometimes. It's been my greatest victory in life to share my heart with this man, who no matter what still reaches over and grabs my boob in the car when he's stopping, all on the pretense of keeping me safe from the dashboard. After nearly 27-years it's nice to know he's still hankering for me.

I'm grateful for my children, who at times, pushed the limits in every way, but somehow managed to pull back just in time to save themselves and our sanity. It's been a journey of epic proportion on occassion but we all held tight and went for the ride of our lives and were all able to walk away reasonably unscathed.

I am eternally grateful for the health of my family and my extended family both here and at home in Canada and that the Gods were watching over and protecting my little village.

I am awed by the graciousness of the universe that has led me to this amazing life I have.

I am excited by the prospect of doing something new in the coming year even though I'm not sure what that will be or where it will lead. I know that good things will come no matter what because somehow they just always do.

To each and every one of you who've touched my life in even the smallest way this past year, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Each of you have added a light to my soul, a beat to my heart and a smile on my lips.

A toast...

May you always have health
May your dreams become reality
May your path lead you to where you are destined to go
And may you always have light shining brightly in your heart...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's A Dick Thing...

Okay, call me obsessed but I found another 'Dickweed' and actually had color film this time.

I most certainly didn't expect the color to get so crazy like in this photo but I kind of like the effect, whether it's a mistake, a light leak or me just losing my mind.

It's somewhat of a Prince thing so I've called it 'purple haze'.

Where they come from, what they are? Who cares? They do make for stimulating conversation. I think of it as a sign from the God's to finally make a concerted effort to publish my 'book' during this blooming season of the 'Dickweed'. Who knows, stranger things have happened and I fugure that those divine messages have got to come from somewhere, even if from under the soil.

I did manage to get another shot though of 'it' in living color. Very strange to see these things out around the yard. Makes me kind of tingle at the thought of gardening on a warm sunny afternoon. LOL!


Maybe my mother is on to something spending an entire day in the garden.

All that stimulation just might explain her fatigue at the end of the day!

Well to all who visit here, enjoy. This will be the last posting of my garden pal with the exception that one comes up that is absolutely stunning and photo worthy.

Till the next time...

Charlie On Guard...

The dog waited patiently on Christmas for his stocking to be unhitched from its perch.

We always have to hang it up high enough because he's been known to pull half the Christmas decorations down off the fireplace mantle in his insane attempt to cheat time.

This year he slept on the stone hearth right beneath it or at least that's where I found him around 5 a.m. Christmas morning.

As always he ate nearly half a bag of treats and didn't touch his food all day. I can only imagine what was going on in his stomach all day.

All in all he had a great time along with the rest of us. Today I spent most of the day wading through the reams of wrapping paper strewn about the living room. It's all gone now, the room looks back to normal as though none of the chaos really took place yesterday morning.

Another Christmas over and done with, and a New Year to look forward to.

Till the next time...

The Ghost Of Christmas Past...

Sometimes you have to remember the past to see where you've come from just in case you've lost your bookmark. I wrote this for my family because it's been more than 20-years since I've sat down with them on Christmas Day! Although this is not a Holga it's one of my most cherished photographs. It always takes me back to where life was simple, uncomplicated and filled with joyous adventures. (PS: That's me in the middle of my two older sisters way back in 1958--Damn I'm old!)

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU...

Each time I look at the lights on my tree
And photos of days gone by
I would be remiss if I didn't say
Sometimes...yes...it makes me cry

In a tiny town, a dot on the map
We took our first footsteps
We took our first naps

We sat starry eyed
As the holidays began
We jumped and we yelled
We frolicked and ran

After waiting all night for that old boy Saint Nick
To shimmy down the chimney so fat and so thick
To empty his bag, leaving hearts on high
Oh, you want to bet
There was magic in our eyes.

I see little girls curled up
All snuggly and warm
Clutching little black patent purses
Filled stockings and more!

If I close my eyes I can picture
Girls sniggling in a pack
Telling stories of their adventures
With mom serving homemade snacks.

May you always look back
From where you have come
From the loins of the woman
We love to call Mum

We grew a few larger
Somewhere along the way
There were more at the table
With much more to say

It was destined to be
As love filled her heart
She would be a new woman
And get a fresh start

Her strength is apparent
In each she has raised
With the help of her lover
Our dad of many days

Each year that passes
Time quickly slides
A wrinkle, a stretch mark
A butt grown too wide

Our clothes feel much smaller
Our children have grown fine
When did all this happen you wonder?

Well...
In the blink of an eye!

But it's moments like this
We can all reflect on
Where we've gone
Who we've become
Where we're going
And what's to come.

We've grown in so many ways
But those hearts remain a child's
The anticipation of friends
Or calls from across the miles

And though my door opens often
And friends begin to call
It's those I was weaned away from
I miss the most of all.

My gift for you this Christmas
Is filled with all my love
To wish you all your dreams come true
And to always rise above

May your stocking be crammed full
With all that lies ahead
May your dreams leave you filled
As you snuggle into bed

To your health and your home
To the blessings you've known
To the knowledge you're shared
To know that you have cared

It's the path to this place
Our souls can find peace
The journey, the detours
The joys that never cease

Though life's not always easy
Sometimes too hard to grasp
There's always this to hold on to
Never let go of the past

My love for you runs deep
Of this you should always know
So take a moment for me this holiday
To make an angel in the snow.

Merry Christmas!

For my Holga moment I've shot a picture of the Ghost of Christmas Present and Future!

"DICKWEED"...A Whole New Meaning...

When I was growing up the term DickWeed was something we used to establish the stupidity of a person or comment we'd heard or seen. It was just a word back then but today the reality of the word strikes very close to home.


After we added on to our house and relandscaped the entire yard I started noticing these very odd growths shooting up in various locations.

I like to call it "DickWeed" for obvious reasons.

I saw the little head emerging from the ground about two weeks ago and waited patiently for it to bloom into it's full glory.

Now, my gardner has a habit of 'whacking' (no pun intended...oh...well of course there was) these off at ground level but I watched him closely this past week so that if he came any where near it I could tell him to leave it alone.

Now he recently fertilized the yard and it makes me wonder what color the fertilizer was, if there was any of the 'blue stuff' in it?

I just knew I had to get a shot of it because it's just so odd and as we all know...seeing is believing.

I had taken one to the garden center last year to ask what it was and after everyone stopped giggling admitted they'd never seen one before but that it must be some kind of mushroom. They were amazed by what it resembled and as surprised as I was by the stench of it's green slimy head, for lack of a better word.

It's gone now, wilted away, but now it's here for posterities sake. I know there will be more like it in the future so maybe next time I'll have some color film so you can get the true esscence of it's image.

Boy Meets Girl...By Accident...

I sent my daughter off on an errand to deliver a Christmas present to Alex's teacher since he's been out sick all week and I wasn't feeling so great today. No sooner did I sit back and try to relax when the phone rang. Someone had hit her in her car.

"I'm okay, someone hit me. Can you come Mom?" I threw on a coat, grabbed the Holga and off I went.
This was the young mans car, a two thousand and something Mercedes Benz, that in trying to dodge a car pulling out from the curb swerved to miss it and careened into her door as she was getting out. Her door was only open about 12 inches, her foot was on the ground and she was just moving her body out of the car when the car struck. She threw herself backwards inside the vehicle to avoid the impact.

All I can say is thank God for those two or three seconds that had not passed allowing her to be out of the car. It would have been her that he struck.This is what's left of her drivers side door. It will still close if you kick it shut and fortunately the window still works but, it looks like shit.

Of course the young man was speeding, possibly moving at 50-60 miles per hour, and it took him about 100 yards to stop his car. Strangely enough this was directly in front of Alex's school where the speed limit is 15 miles per hour during that time when children are getting out of school. I guess we should thank our lucky stars no one was actually crossing the street at that exact moment.

Sarah sat in shock laying across her friends lap where she landed trying to avoid impact. When I asked her if anyone witnessed the accident she said there was a black man with dread locks walking down the sidewalk across from her and a white woman in a white Ford Explorer. That made me burst out laughing because she'd just described nearly the entire population of Los Angeles. I guess the insurance companies will be busy tonight figuring this out.

I can only say I'm grateful that it was her door and not her that got hit.

I guess this is truely an early Christmas present, my daughter shaken, but safe and sound.

I think that when all is said and done Tammy, Sarah could have used some of the reflectors from the car that you shot.

One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest...

Well here we are five days later still with the crud hanging in the air.

Alex finally allowed the doctor to check him out but nearly frisked him first to make sure he didn't have any needles anywhere on him.

He really hated the ear check because they've been plugged up and are bothering him...but...no infection thank God!

His fever has gone but he's lost his voice, which in and of itself is a blessing for me, because he's been hollering for me 1,000 times a day to get him this, to help him get to the bathroom and whatnot.

Yesterday was the first time he'd eaten anything since Saturday night when the pukes arrived and that seemed to make him feel a little better. It was only chicken noodle soup but it was something at least.

The doctors advice was to keep him home from school again because the worry that this might turn into pnemonia and land him in the hospital as has happened to many other youngsters this flu season is a real possibility.

YIKES!!!!!

I guess today I'll rent more movies for him to keep him occupied for a while and hope that with additional nutritian we can kick this bugs ass.

Till tomorrow...stay well out there in that cold cold world!

It's A Cold, Cold World...The Sequel...

Well, I have to say I dreaded getting up this morning to see what I was going to have to face in light of the 'BUG' that has entered my nearly sterile household this weekend.

Up to bat first was Alex whose temperature remains a steady 100 degree's as it continues to fight off the bad shit roaming in his nose and lungs. A few hits of the inhaler did not do the trick this time so I had to pull out the big guns and give him a real breathing treatment.

I have to admit he's a much better sport about it since we started calling the process 'Darth Vadar'. He now just patiently waits as the steamy medicine penetrates and opens his lungs so that he can get what he now refers to a 'the good cough that's wet'...bless his soul. It was the perfect Holga moment when I walked in and found him asleep shortly after. (Of course he looked so peaceful I did first check to make sure he was still breathing before I ran for the camera)

Sarah woke up sometime around one o'clock this afternoon feeling achy and congested and of course when I checked, was also running a fever of about 101 degrees. I knew at that point I would be trapped like a rat in my own house, that is except to run to Subway for a sandwich for her and the grocery store to get popcycles again for Alex.

I lucked out with another Holga moment however when I went in to her room to check on her and found her sleeping sitting up in bed. I guess it was meant to be that the Holga was not allowed out of the house either today. Just as well.

Paul was the smart one and left during one of my forays to go play poker all day. I wish I could have run out like that. But, No, I listened to the sound of 'Moooooooom' echoing from various rooms in the house and did my job to help nuture these little bastards...opps...I mean sweethearts back to their normal health selves.

I hope tomorrow finds both of them feeling back to normal so I can get back to normal. Until then I will pour myself a wee shot of tequilla to fortify my stamina so I can keep running from room to room without pulling my hair out one strand at a time!

It's A Cold, Cold World...

Well...I knew this morning when I got up at five-ish and Alex was up something was amiss.

Said he had a headache and his stomach didn't feel good.

My gut started to turn because I knew that the cold/flu season had finally struck home and when Alex get sick...I worry like a mother fu@k@r because of his asthma!

Shite!!!!!!

About 9 a.m. he finally fell back to sleep and that's when Sarah rolled in with her nose stuffy and her chest hurt. Didn't help that she stayed at her sick boyfriends all night after I asked her not to.

Well, everyone is sick and the medicine chest grew larger after a run to the drug store. Airborne to help ward 'IT' off, Emergeny-C to help boost the immune system, Advil, Tylynol, cough drops...oh, the list is endless.

Getting Alex's fever down from 103 degrees took a few advils, some tylynol, several popcycles and lots of mom love, but after an hour it came to rest somewhere around 100. I can live with that because it's attacking whatever he's got.

I'm sure that he'll be up during the night at some point so for me, I'll hit the sack early enough to get a few hours of zzzzz's in before the first call.

I suppose this puts us in quarentine for a while till the crud is gone. Till then I wish everyone good health!

Nite, nite!

Boy Swallowed By Tree...

So my scanner says it won't upload this top photo as a picture, instead it wanted it to become an illustration. As cool as it looked that way I knew you'd just have to see the little tree person for who he was.

Alex and I went to pick out our Christmas tree today and he had the time of his life running amok through all the pines. Who could blame him? It was wet and muddy and smelled oh so heavenly.

In this second photo my ghost came back and left me with a rather etherial picture, almost angelic, and as most of you who know Alex...that can be a stretch.

We ended up with a fabulous tree that has already made the house smell a little more like the holiday season. Nothing like the smell of fresh pine filtering through the air, inspiring thoughts of Jolly old St. Nick and sugar plums (whatever the hell they are).

I suppose it's time to get busy and hit the attic to get the decorations down but that will have to wait until tomorrow when there is hopefully plenty of sunlight that can filter in through the vents. The attic has always been a scary place in this house because it's so large and dark and sometimes you can here...gulp...something scurrying across the rafters.

(NOTE: If you click on the pictures they get bigger, I think)

Crying Fowl...

Looking for inspiration and a moment of peace and quite I headed to Lake Balboa late yesterday afternoon.

This bird seemed to call out my name, yes, over and over but as I approached it it began to shake its head at me as soon as it realized that my camera was not food.

I was able to snap this right before it charged towards me trying to peck the lens. I'm not sure if it was angry or trying to protect its mate but it knocked me flat on my ass with its surprise attack.

As I got to my knees two other geese began to waddle towards me and I realized that they were as done with me as I was with them.

Shot In The Eye...

Today I burned through a pack of polaroids trying to capture the most outlandish Xmas display I've ever seen.

Numerous blow ups, candles, signs and other festive pariphanelia scattered among the small yard in Sherman Oaks were apparently too much of a challenge for my Holga.

Ten pictures with glitches in each one. Some with nothing but gray filling the roid others filled with green ghosts I've been accustomed to.

Perhaps there was just too much image for even the most vivid imagination to capture. I don't know what happened but it cost me dearly. Not one shot was worthy of publication.

Have I lost my touch or is the Holga trying to tell me something? Thought's to ponder I suppose. i thought about going back out in the still of the night to try to capture something with no flash but I'm just too tired.

I guess I'm just going to have to wait until after this party tommorrow night when I feel a little more rested and can try to figure out what's going on with this crazy camera.

Tomorrow's another day but not for me and my Holga. Maybe I'll capture something at the surprise party I'm throwing!

Maybe that's the surprise! Maybe something will be Holga worthy, who knows?

Till then.......