THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: March 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

King Of The Hill...

Some things are worth waiting for and this is definately one of those things!


With the release of his second album last year, Paul Brown, recording artist/producer, is creating quite a stir in the industry. "Winelight" originally recorded by Grover Washington is one of the many fine tunes from "The City"(GRP/VMG).

For a list of where you can catch my boy visit his website.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I'm Think I Could Get In This Game...

So here's something we've all been waiting for.

I'm telling you, I'm so damned excited I could just about pee my pants!

(Note: I've disguised myself to keep face in describing my bad bad game play ideas!)

I've been longing for someone to come up with a way that would allow me to descretely screw my neighbors or at least mess with them a little. At long last we'll all have a chance to get in the game now that us deperate housewives can join the millions of gamers out there.

Just think of the many ways we'll be able to manipulate our boring little lives here in suburbia.

Maybe I can introduce a mechanic into the game that will secretly venture into my neighbors garage in the dark of the night and install mufflers on all their cars so my dog doesn't go insane each time they fire up one of their vehicles.

And maybe another character, a contractor bronzed from the sun, could venture up the street and redesign a few of the new houses going up so their visual design flaws would dissappear and my vision for them would miraculously appear.

Or maybe I'd create a plumber to visit one of the single ladies down the way so he could really fix her pipes if you know what I mean.

For me, I'd create the perfect pool boy who would stand outside my window under the hot sun with just the right amount of sweat running down his broad chest. I could watch his muscles ripple each time he stoked the pool with his...with his...long stealy know his skimmer. Yeah! His skimmer! The funny thing is I don't even have a pool. Mmmmmmmmm!!!!! Makes me wonder what's on my own damn mind!

I'd create the perfect gardner, who not only understood English, but would recite prose while pruning my rose bush that is! He'd arrive early and stay until I was finished, umm, until he was finished with his me, oh hell, I mean the my flower bed.

I could go down...oops..I mean on and on but the sweat is starting to slowly run down my chest right between Alice and Bertha.

For all my bored and desperate housewife friends out there, you'd better run to the store when this one hits the market. It could end up being the best 'toy' you've ever invested in and maybe the most fun you can have while you're alone.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Oh What A Beautiful Morning...

So as I was getting ready to head off to the gym this morning but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. One look outside and I knew my cardio would have to be off the treadmill away from the other sweat hogs and onto some hard concrete where I could absorb some of the sun on my rather pale skin. The obvious choice was Lake Balboa over there in Encino.

As you can see it's cherry blossom time. The pink hue of these stunning blossoms against an azure sky helped push from my mind the latest headlines that we are indeed living in a toxic wasteland and will all eventually die from some form of cancer. And here I thought it was going to be a moment on the freeway that would eventually off me. What was I thinking?

Just the thought of breathing in any of this supposedly smog reduced air that will eventually kill us makes me wonder if someone, and I won't say who, has been fucking with the numbers that leads us to believe that our air quality is far better now than it was, say, ten or twenty years ago!

However, pushing this farther into the deep recesses of my mind, I decided it was worth the risk. I had contemplated zipping my sweatshirt up over my mouth as my feet hit the pavement and then said fuck it. I've been breathing this air for almost thirty years so I'm probably almost dead anyway.

None the less, it was a day to enjoy all the budding trees across the entire park. What better way to bring in a new season?

It was peaceful enough to clear my mind, not that there was too much going on in there this early in the day, and I decided that if I had to breath this air I was simply going to enjoy it and deal with the consequences later.

Each time another early morning jogger/walker went past me I found myself looking at their faces to see if there were any tell tale signs of air borne illness, but to my delight, everyone seemed to be perfectly healthy looking. Maybe, just as the landscape here in California has found a way to survive in a desert environment, we too have found a way to adapt and beat the odds!

Some friends decided to join me along the way and they too were feeling quite duckie,probably because they don't bother reading the news!

Their only worry is how and when people will begin to toss out their old bread so their feeding frenzy can begin. I've noticed during my last several visits to the park that there are some regular feeders that come and all the birds, ducks, gulls, etc... apparently know exactly who they are and where they will be.

Well, now that I'm back home I guess I'll duct tape and seal the place off until my next jaunt outside! (she says singing "All I need is the air that I breath")

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

What's Wrong With This Picture...

This is a photo of Ventura Boulevard in Sherman Oaks at approximately noon on Wednesday.

Why is it so empty you must be wondering?

As my news nose spotted the first helicopter swooping low over Van Nuys and Moorpark I followed its path to see just what the heck was going on.

You can always tell the intensity of a situation by how low the choppers are flying so of course this one caught my attention immediately. By the time I got close all the streets were blocked off so I found something on the side street, grabbed the holga and headed towards the action. Off in the distance that distinctive blare that only the bomb squad vehicles have, burst through the otherwise silent air and I knew by that eerie sound that there had been a bomb threat of some kind.

The streets were blocked between Hazeltine and Beverly Glenn for about half an hour. Apparently it was a false alarm, and after a debriefing at the carwash on the corner all parties went on their crimebusting way.

The next shot is the officer taking the blockade tape down and none too soon.

Looking back towards Van Nuys Boulevard you could see the backup it had created on this main thoroughfare in the San Fernando Valley.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Exit Madness...

It's a damn shame credit can only be offered to those academic types who test well.

In today's Los Angeles Times the article on the California exit exam tells it like it is for many students sweating it out right now praying that they can make it through just one more test proving they know just what the hell they're doing.

Many have not or will not pass and will be denied any accolades for the four years they've spent toiling about their classes. No credit will be given for grades they've earned throughout the four years, projects they've sweat over or days they've gotten out of bed and shown up even though they didn't want to.

There will be no evidence of their parents sitting in that crowd of anxious onlookers waiting to see their childrens tassels flop to the other side as their sweaty little hands curl around their diploma. Their will be no credit givin for being a good person, for helping a friend or for trying as hard as they could.

The signal this sends out to those who don't pass is that the bottom line is 'you're only as good as your last test' you big loser!

You have to wonder what this will do to their self-esteem and will it affect how they choose to move forward from this point. Will they go on to higher learning facilities or just accept the fact that they can't cut it?

No child left behind has upped the anti so high that many children will never even leave the gate with their esteem in tact.

Maybe I'm just old and cranky. When I hear people talking about how if your child can't read by the time they begin kindergarten they're considered way behind and the audacity of those parents who allowed their children to luxuriate in the freedom of just being a child are even bigger losers, well, it just makes me want to slap this administration silly!

Not everyone is cut out to be a brain surgeon. We still need people to fix our cars and plumb our pipes. We still need people with good hearts and intentions.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Altar Boy...Mmmmmm...

So I've applied for private Catholic school for my youngin'.

He's written the entrance test, met the teacher got a look around the school and seemed to like it. I spent the time while he was testing (about and hour and a half) talking with a few other nervous mothers as well as the school's principal who all seemed rather nice.

They've got basketball, volleyball, flag football and best of all school uniforms. No more crazy morning shit trying to pick clothes, which seems always makes us late.

I have to admit I was really impressed with the campus. Large enough to be a social scene yet small enough that children don't fall through the cracks like most LAUSD campuses.

As we were leaving however, a lovely old fellow approached us, put his hand on my sons shoulder and said (after reading his name tag) #$%# my boy, I'm Father (so and so) the priest at the church here. I hope you will be able to attend our lovely school and maybe you can be one of the altar boys.

GULP!!!! As I looked at his hand firmly gripping my sons shoulder, his words reverberating like a rubber ball in a conrete room in my mind, I felt breathless.

For anyone who reads or listens to the news about all the goings on in the church I think my reaction was not the least over the top. All those stories ran through my mind at lightening speed in those brief seconds and without realizing it, I reached over and pulled my boy close to my side and out of the grasp of the jolly old priest.

Later, I found myself in a delimna over this situation. Although I want my son in a small environment with a little religion under his belt I couldn't help but wonder, with all the shifting around of the good, the bad and the downright ugly priests, all the cover ups and denials, and eventually some of the truths that have recently arisen, am I wrong to worry?

I have already started investigating his background but is that enough? With all the very recent headlines screaming 'cover up' in the Catholic church one can't help but think the worst.

It's bad enough sending your kids off to various places where some of these elements lurk (this is Los Angeles and there are A LOT of creeps out there) I have to wonder, seriously, whether or not I am placing him directly in harms way or am I just an over protective mother making a mountain out of a mole hill. I'm a mother and I have to think like this!

I suppose fair is fair and until I hear differently and until my investigation proves innocence, I will always suspect the jolly old fellow.

Friday, March 10, 2006

To Good Health...

For anyone who has ever seen the doctor, don't you wish you had more coverage? And of course for those without insurance, don't you wish you could even see a doctor?

Many Californians have gotten fed up with the money grubbing bullshit of the current systems and plans that are available, which as we all know are all for-profit organizations. For many (more than 6 million are uninsured in CA) the health plans currently in place are insufficient or inaccessible to many.

The ever growing grassroots organization 'Health Care For All' is on a ball busting mission to change this and is backing Senator Sheila Kuehl's bill SB 840, which would allow every citizen, documented or not, to have adequate health care coverage that would actually save the state a few buck. (read the bill)

If you visit their website-- will find all the information you will ever need to know about the demise of our current system; who is dying because they want to put food on the table rather than spend money on a doctor's visit; and how you can help our state move towards a collective comprehensive health plan that makes everyone equal.

If you're fed up with paying out too much money even after your insurance company has settled their debt with your health care provider or you don't have insurance to begin with, I suggest you take a look at SB 840 and get involved.

It will take thousands of angry voices to push this bill forward so here's your chance to scream at the top of your lungs that "I'm fed up and I'm not going to take it anymore".

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Till Death Do Us Part...

(click on the article below so you can read the text)
(warning-get your tissue out)

Okay, you're probably thinking that I'm a little odd for posting an obituary but it's been haunting me (in a good way) since I first came across it in January in the LA Times.

First of all, I don't normally read the obit's in the paper but on this particular day there was a jump page that made me go there and their photo (it speaks for itself) immediately caught my eye and I couldn't help but read what was said about them. Yes, it was one of those massive tissue moments that I found myself caught up in.

I've had it sitting in my office ever since and I almost feel like I know these folks now and share the pain of their families loss.

What a wonderful way to leave a momento of your life for those left behind. Not only did the writer of this capture the pure essence of this couples long life together, they made you want to be part of their life long love affair.

He waited for her to go because he knew she couldn't live without him! Oh My God!!!! He indeed was a gentleman right till the end, and like the good man he had always been, he let her have her way by leaving first only to follow very shortly after. (so who couldn't live without who?)

I have to say, after being married for 27 years, I wonder what our kids will say about us when we bite the bullet?

Will they remember how hard we worked to make sure they made it to adulthood safe and sound or will they recall the moments of darkness as we muddled through problems that arose leaving us breathless at times?

Will they praise us for our openness or belittle us for not disciplining them harder?

Will they understand the amount of time and effort it takes to keep a relationship flowing and a household out of chaos?

I can only hope that they will say we were good loving parents who gave a damn about them and their future. Who pushed when it was needed and reined them in when they were out of control. Who loved them unconditionally through the toughest of times and laughed out of control when times were easy.

Will they know that they were loved enough and that we were always proud of them? That even though they pushed the limits and tested us almost daily, that we were strong enough to endure and keep on loving them even harder?

I hope they do know this, now before we're gone, so that our obit will read like the one posted here.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

To Ponder...Or Not To Ponder...

So I've been working on a story about a therapist who has taken her private therapy to a more public venue--Journaling!

This age old art allows one to store secrets, lies, untold truths, hopes, fears and whatever else rambles through your mind on any given day.

What I found most surprising is that, what once was most commonly done by teenagers venting aspects of their hormonal changes, boy troubles, good sex/bad sex, day dreaming about who they want to do, secretly gossiping about peers and so many other things that affect them day to day, it has shifted and blossomed among late bloomers.

Attending just one of these journaling sessions was enough for me because my brain moves far too rapidly from one thing to another to concentrate and write in a room full of strangers.

The thing I found extremely interesting though is that nearly all of the women (and one man) were somewhere in their early forties to late fifties. Some had been journaling for years and some were new to the group but they all seemed to have one thing in common--life comes with a lot of baggage. Especially at this age where, if there are children in the picture, well need I say more. Children tend to put you through the ringer on a daily basis so it's no wonder this age range has begun to focus on mending a spirit damaged by the daily grind all the while going through their own hormonal hell. I guess at some point for many of us something has to give and you either buy a bullet and get out permanently, or write it out of your brain and hope no one ever gets a glimpse of what you're writing.

In reading the book from which the workshop is based upon, I came upon one passage that struck a cord with me.

It goes like this:

"Yes, when we create a problem in our mind, it is there, before us, in our life. What we expect to see is what we will see. Who we believe ourselves to be is who we will find ourselves being." Mark K Delurgio author of "Our Journey To The Sky"

Well, I for one always thought I was a goddess, but everyday I look in the mirror I am shocked that there is no tiara, no one to serve me during the day, no special attention to keep me occupied. So, I have to ask myself, am I in charge of everyones problems and was I the cause of them? Is that why so many of those in this particular group are attending this workshop--to see if it's our fault that our children get fucked up so badly? HMMMMMM!

Or, (this has got to be the reality)

Maybe the gray hairs that sprout from the top of my head (often reminiscent of pubic hair because they just don't sit down with the rest of it) is my 'tiara'. A trophy that comes with age, wisdom and child rearing, all during the same time we're trying to have a life. So many thought's to ponder!

Or, is it that the world has evolved so tremendously we just can't keep up with the changing times and the mounting pressures of today's youth?

I suppose it would be an incredible journey to be a fly on the wall to see what's really going on in people's lives behind closed doors and whether that journey--good, bad or indifferent--is in fact, completely self induced?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...

What do you get when you mix a boy and a toy?


Some pictures just speak for themselves!

I've Been Tagged...And I Can't Get Up...

Thanks a lot Darleene! There must be some kind of punishment for tagging someone so publicly! A spanking perhaps, but then again, that's Trinity's job isn't it?

It's hard enough remembering what I ate this morning let alone thinking back on Life In LA since my arrival back in 1978. (of course I was only 12 then, right?) Damn time goes fast!

Okay, so here goes...


Modeling-Wilhelmina Models for a gazilion years. (Where the hell did all these little lines on my face come from? -- Oh yeah, they arrived shortly after giving birth the first time, then again the second time)

Acting-Yes there was a time when I could chew gum and talk at the same time, even had my clothes ripped off in the middle of a casino on an episode of 'McGuiver'. HMMMMM! Booty call.

Motherhood-The hardest job I've ever known. Pay sucks and the rewards are far and few between, and yes, I love my children madly, but they do drive me nuts sometimes.

LA Times Community News-Possibly the best diet aid I've ever known. Lost twenty five pounds in less than six months. (None of which was due to stress, deadlines, long hours or, well, if you've worked there you know where this is going so I don't need to actually spell it out for you)


Crash-It brings back memories of getting lost in the bowels of Inglewood late one night (yes a dumb white girl in a brand new shiney white Cadilac Escalade) while trying to find the freeway entrance. (Thank God for On-Star)

Crash-Everyone looked sexy in this movie, even the bad guys were a bit of a turn on.

To Dance With The White Dog-Okay, officially it's not about LA but I'm sure it was shot somewhere here. Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronin made this, their last movie together before her death.

Jacqui's Home Movie Reel-The best reality based flick on earth never to be seen by anyone but us.


Tarzana-Amigo Drive. I was living in Orange County, went out of town for two weeks and when I got back I found my stuff packed up on the front steps of the place I was living so I moved into my then boyfriends parents house. Best bagels I ever had and it didn't cost me a dime nor did I have to commute to get them short of walking twenty feet from the bedroom to the kitchen table.

North Hollywood-Beck Avenue. Moved in with the boyfriend, shortly thereafter got married to him (27 years later we're still married and happy). Henry's Tacos on the corner of Tujunga and Moorpark. Best taco in town! My kids like to go there now.

Hollywood-Camrose Avenue. Our neighbor was the Hollywood Bowl so we enjoyed many free concerts sitting on the front steps. Yamishiro (at the top of the hill for late night beers because I don't eat sushi)

Sherman Oaks-Chandler Boulevard. Twenty years ago when we didn't think we could afford anything we bought our second house and today, well with real estate going the way it has, I count my lucky stars we did. Mistral on Ventura. The best East Coast vibe in the Valley with the best peppercorn steak you'll ever have.


My mind is blank because I don't watch that much TV (I'm sure I'll think of some after this posts).


Beverly Hills Hotel-just because it's pink and famous.

Chateau Marmont-it just has a vibe and I love how it's nestled into the hills.

Villa Della Stelle-A new quaint hotel in Hollywood. It only has four rooms and is owned by Brogan Lane, ex-wife of Dudly Moore. Yes you can even sleep in Dudly's old bed.

My Bedroom-It's a little like being at the Four Seasons Anywhere USA.


Daily News
LA Times
NY Times
Life Through A Lens


Peppercorn steak (Mistral on Ventura)

Garlic Chicken (Versailles in Encino-although you cannot be around anyone for about a week until the garlic finishes coming out of your skin, hair, breath.)

Tom Yum Goong aka Hot Shrimp Soup (Grandma's Thai Kitchen on Burbank-best medicine in town for a cold)

Spicy Chicken w/brown rice-prepared very often in my own kitchen. My kids beg for it daily.


Ritz Carlton on Maui sitting at the beach bar enjoying a silver patron on the rocks with a slice of lime.

Ritz Carlton on Maui in one of their beautiful ocean view rooms getting laid.

Ritz Carlton on Maui on a chaise lounge at the small beach they have with a drink while getting laid.

Getting Laid!

So there you have it. There are no more secrets about me, no really, that's all you need to know.

And if anyone ever tags me again like this, you know who you are, we may have to trade blows!

Friday, March 03, 2006

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

One day I was sitting in front of my computer trying to capture an image, but instead, the computer caught my soul. I have been living inside this little box for some time now and I like it when people visit. Come on, you know you want to tell me something...

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