THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: I'm Think I Could Get In This Game...

Monday, March 27, 2006

I'm Think I Could Get In This Game...

So here's something we've all been waiting for.

I'm telling you, I'm so damned excited I could just about pee my pants!

(Note: I've disguised myself to keep face in describing my bad bad game play ideas!)

I've been longing for someone to come up with a way that would allow me to descretely screw my neighbors or at least mess with them a little. At long last we'll all have a chance to get in the game now that us deperate housewives can join the millions of gamers out there.

Just think of the many ways we'll be able to manipulate our boring little lives here in suburbia.

Maybe I can introduce a mechanic into the game that will secretly venture into my neighbors garage in the dark of the night and install mufflers on all their cars so my dog doesn't go insane each time they fire up one of their vehicles.

And maybe another character, a contractor bronzed from the sun, could venture up the street and redesign a few of the new houses going up so their visual design flaws would dissappear and my vision for them would miraculously appear.

Or maybe I'd create a plumber to visit one of the single ladies down the way so he could really fix her pipes if you know what I mean.

For me, I'd create the perfect pool boy who would stand outside my window under the hot sun with just the right amount of sweat running down his broad chest. I could watch his muscles ripple each time he stoked the pool with his...with his...long stealy shaft...you know his skimmer. Yeah! His skimmer! The funny thing is I don't even have a pool. Mmmmmmmmm!!!!! Makes me wonder what's on my own damn mind!

I'd create the perfect gardner, who not only understood English, but would recite prose while pruning my bush...er...my rose bush that is! He'd arrive early and stay until I was finished, umm, until he was finished with his me, oh hell, I mean the my flower bed.

I could go down...oops..I mean on and on but the sweat is starting to slowly run down my chest right between Alice and Bertha.

For all my bored and desperate housewife friends out there, you'd better run to the store when this one hits the market. It could end up being the best 'toy' you've ever invested in and maybe the most fun you can have while you're alone.

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