THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: To Ponder...Or Not To Ponder...

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

To Ponder...Or Not To Ponder...

So I've been working on a story about a therapist who has taken her private therapy to a more public venue--Journaling!

This age old art allows one to store secrets, lies, untold truths, hopes, fears and whatever else rambles through your mind on any given day.

What I found most surprising is that, what once was most commonly done by teenagers venting aspects of their hormonal changes, boy troubles, good sex/bad sex, day dreaming about who they want to do, secretly gossiping about peers and so many other things that affect them day to day, it has shifted and blossomed among late bloomers.

Attending just one of these journaling sessions was enough for me because my brain moves far too rapidly from one thing to another to concentrate and write in a room full of strangers.

The thing I found extremely interesting though is that nearly all of the women (and one man) were somewhere in their early forties to late fifties. Some had been journaling for years and some were new to the group but they all seemed to have one thing in common--life comes with a lot of baggage. Especially at this age where, if there are children in the picture, well need I say more. Children tend to put you through the ringer on a daily basis so it's no wonder this age range has begun to focus on mending a spirit damaged by the daily grind all the while going through their own hormonal hell. I guess at some point for many of us something has to give and you either buy a bullet and get out permanently, or write it out of your brain and hope no one ever gets a glimpse of what you're writing.

In reading the book from which the workshop is based upon, I came upon one passage that struck a cord with me.

It goes like this:

"Yes, when we create a problem in our mind, it is there, before us, in our life. What we expect to see is what we will see. Who we believe ourselves to be is who we will find ourselves being." Mark K Delurgio author of "Our Journey To The Sky"

Well, I for one always thought I was a goddess, but everyday I look in the mirror I am shocked that there is no tiara, no one to serve me during the day, no special attention to keep me occupied. So, I have to ask myself, am I in charge of everyones problems and was I the cause of them? Is that why so many of those in this particular group are attending this workshop--to see if it's our fault that our children get fucked up so badly? HMMMMMM!

Or, (this has got to be the reality)

Maybe the gray hairs that sprout from the top of my head (often reminiscent of pubic hair because they just don't sit down with the rest of it) is my 'tiara'. A trophy that comes with age, wisdom and child rearing, all during the same time we're trying to have a life. So many thought's to ponder!

Or, is it that the world has evolved so tremendously we just can't keep up with the changing times and the mounting pressures of today's youth?

I suppose it would be an incredible journey to be a fly on the wall to see what's really going on in people's lives behind closed doors and whether that journey--good, bad or indifferent--is in fact, completely self induced?


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One day I was sitting in front of my computer trying to capture an image, but instead, the computer caught my soul. I have been living inside this little box for some time now and I like it when people visit. Come on, you know you want to tell me something...

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