Sex Changing Fish Offers Hope For Humans

Scientists are wondering why so many male fish in the Potomac River are gender changing at a rather alarming rate.

These 'intersex fish' pulled from the cold murky waters have begun to shown signs of small mammary glands forming on the upper portion of their underside, which leads researchers to one conclusion--that maternal instincts are not solely reserved for the female species.

The study further confirmed that the once 'small mouthed' male fish has somehow managed to create eggs in their ball sack and during spawning season are able to somehow squeeze out little tiny baby fish through their little tiny penises.

Witnesses who've discovered firsthand this phenomenon of birthing by male fish who, some swear are suddenly looking more like the 'large mouthed' females, say that what is normally a quiet experience for the female fish, has become a rather excruciatingly loud event as the male tries to push the babies out.

"We're seeing more and more fish lying dead at the shoreline," said one witness. "I guess some of them just can't take it and would rather die than try to keep pushing to get the babies out."

Since news of this gender shifting hit the press local fisherman have noticed more and more groups gathering near as well as swimming in the frigid waters.

One group, consisting of four young men and two teenage girls, admitted that they're hoping that by swimming in the river they will eventually fulfill their desire to change gender just as the fish have done.

"If this works I won't have to undergo any kind of surgery," said one very pretty young man. "Yes I admit it -- I was born with a wiener but what I really want is to be the bun."

Research is expected to continue over the next several years and scientists are hoping to evaluate the affects of the water on the human subjects as well.