THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: School Begins--Mom's Doing The Dance

Monday, September 04, 2006

School Begins--Mom's Doing The Dance

Millions of people across the United States headed off to a variety of holiday destinations to celebrate the end of summer this labor day weekend.

Campers, RV's and trailers loaded up with motorcycles, ATV's, boats and bicycles, crowded highways across the nation in the normal gridlock pattern, all in hopes of catching a little down time by relaxing and enjoying friends, family and an exorbitant amount of alcohol and grilled food.

It is historically a time when men can finally stop sucking in their bellies as they crowd around the hibatchi, a beer grasped tightly within each fist, as they begin the bragging soliloquy among fellow campers as to whose RV or camper is superior to the rest and whose boat is faster. It also affords their spouses the golden opportunity to shoo off the children for the first time in months in hopes that the youngsters will finally find a way to entertain themselves for the first time all summer.

But, for many who take this weekend and the reasonably deserted streets to finish off projects, close up pools and gardens, and a variety of other chores, this holiday marks the beginning of the fiscal year and the blessed return to school for millions of children.

At one local office supply store, managers cranked up the music in anticipation of mom's dragging their children up and down the aisles picking up last minute school supplies.

"It's an odd phenomenon watching how vastly different people's attitudes are during these last few days before school, especially for the mothers of school aged children," said the manager of a local Office Depot store. "They seem to float up and down the aisles with a look of glee in their eye, their bodies gyrating to the beat, and they don't seem to balk at spending more money than budgeted for school supplies."

This unique experience has been hailed as 'The Mom Dance' for centuries, and is as pleasing as cheese on apple pie for most.

One mother, who spent most of Monday giggling out loud for no apparent reason and who witnesses say spent a significant amount of time swirling her arms out in front of herself in what appeared to be step one of three from The Mom Dance, said the significance of this once a year spending spree was a way to set her spirit free as she anticipated more time to herself.

"Tomorrow marks the day that I can clean my house starting at eight thirty in the morning rather than waiting until everyone has dragged their ass out of bed, usually around 2 o'clock in the afternoon," she said.

Stores across the country are offering extended shopping hours today in order to accommodate those who postponed their shopping time in order to get out of town.


AUTHORS NOTE: In unrelated news, it is with great sadness that this weekend marks the passing of noted crocodile handler, Steve Irwin. He died yesterday from a puncture wound to his heart by a stingray while filming an underwater adventure at the Great Barrier Reef. Irwin, 44, leaves behind a wife and child. As a fan of Mr. Irwin, having watched several of his specials with my son, we will deeply miss his crazy antics.

7 Comments:

Blogger Morgen said...

Ha. My significant other (you can't say "hubby" cuz we're non-legal long term partners in this fascist regime, but I digress...)
he works for Staples. All public schools in Michigan start Sept 5 this year (new state law -- don't want a silly thing like school messing up tourism on Labor Day weekend)... so, this past weekend was THE busiest of the year for them. He is a big grump today. He's in the basement, painting, I'm in the study on the computer. As soon as the dew dries, I'm outta here -- lawn mowing here I come, to avoid the Back To School wrath of office supply store worker. Is that BTS Rage? This would be the opposite of BTS mom happy dance.
Would a mom who works at an office supply store implode this weekend from conflicting emotions?

8:34 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Oh Oh Morgan. Sounds like a case of sperm build up too me. If you want the day to progress smoothly I'd suggest that you get busy...if you know what I mean?

I have not switched to beta, I don't even know what that is since I'm such a dork when it comes to anything outside of my word proccessing program. I am about to buy a new computer since both of mine work on different systems, which has become the bane of my existance having to switch my modem out each time I switch computers. Yes I know about routers but I cannot get it to work between my desktop and my lap top.

(insert drum roll here)

Dunce Hat goes to JBWritergirl!

9:18 AM  
Blogger Matt-Man said...

Steve Irwin dies and Katie Couric does the CBS News...Life is unfair.

7:13 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

I feel your pain Matt-Man!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Bazza said...

We don't have Labor/Labour Day in the UK. Summer doesn't have an official day when it's over - it sort of fades away. (Of course, there is a 'first day of Autumn', but seasons don't always dictate the weather over here.)

1:22 PM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Detroit is in snafu position -- all the publics are on strike. Kudos on the Mom dance! Now I've got to do the teacher's long march ;) Time is an odd thing, for sure. Sorry to hear about the croc hunter. We may need that Prozac Nation after all.

3:10 PM  
Blogger Penrick said...

I don't get the whole cheese on apple pie. I would never put cheese on my pie.

For me, kids going back to school is no longer the smiling happy look of seeing them all walking to school. Now, mine are grown and I will most likely be stuck behind a bus or the child who takes 4 days to cross the street. I must leave 15 minutes early for work since I won't know what yellow bus or lunch box carrying being is going to get in my way today.

I see mother's all walking through the aisle with their Dunkin Donut cups and no kids smiling so happy as they peacefully shop. I know there isn't coffee in those cups. Gimme a break!

3:27 PM  

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