A 29-year-old man was taken into custody at a Chicago airport this week after reportedly telling transportation security officials he was
carrying a bomb to avoid an embarrassing confrontation with his mother.
Shortly before Madin Azad Amin and his mother boarded a flight to Turkey, officials found an item in his suitcase that resemble a grenade and quickly detained them.
During questioning Amin fessed up to officials that it was actually part of an elaborate system to pleasure himself--a penis pump, and that he was too embarrassed to have to explain that to security with his mother standing so close to him.
"It was an error in judgment on my part," Amin said. "What I really should have said was 'it's THE bomb' not 'it's A bomb'."
His mother, described by witnesses as one of those over bearing, possessive religious zealots, was released shortly after questioning and held an impromptu press conference to defend her son's action.
"I know what's best for my son and I raised him to be a good boy and that includes not touching himself to satisfy his sexual needs," she said. "I am very proud of him for finding a way to indulge his sexual desires, by using a devise without actually touching himself or whoring around with trashy young women--he's a good boy."
Amin, charged with disorderly conduct as stated in the penile code book, will face up to a possible three years in jail.
As officials led Amin out of the airport he was reported to have a wide grin on his face. When asked if he was happy about being arrested he told the officers he was elated.
"I've been trying to come out of the closet for years but was always afraid of my mother and the repercussions of such a disclosure," Amin admitted. "You've met my mother--three years in an all male prison sounds like heaven on earth."