In Denmark today, airline officials announced they have launched what is being hailed as the first terrorist free flights.
In a bold move by the Transportation Security Authority, all passengers are required to remove every piece of clothing before passing through the final checkpoint, which they have now installed directly in front of each boarding gate. Travelers are then issued their own personal blanket and pillow until they are reunited with their clothes once they reach their final destination.
"This leaves no doubt in our mind and the mind of other passengers that nothing can be carried on board without being easily detected," said a spokesman for the TSA. "We believe anyone who ever thought about taking part in any kind of terrorist activities while flying under these circumstances will be so distracted by the anatomy of other passengers they will be completely rendered helpless in their seats."
One passenger, who witnesses say was possibly actress Pamela Sue Anderson, spent most of her time giggling as she passed through the final checkpoint wearing nothing but her birthday suit.
During takeoff a male steward overheard her conversation with another passenger and alerted other flight attendants that there may be a problem.
After being informed by flight staff member that she openly admitted that "her breasts were the bomb" the Captain apparently left the cockpit to do a thorough inspection of the passenger in question.
"In today's climate we must take all the precautions we feel necessary," the Captain said.
After a lengthy inspection the passenger was deemed harmless by the Captain and was reseated among the other passengers.
After spending fifteen minutes in the first class bathroom the Captain also returned to the cockpit and the rest of the flight went without further incident.