THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Viagra thief Won't Face Hard Time

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Viagra thief Won't Face Hard Time

Pharmacies are breathing a sigh of relief in Brazil after police arrested one of two suspects responsible for stealing more than $220,000 in cash and Viagra pills.

Many consumers expressed their relief after they were forced to abstain from sex over the past year due to the shortage of the anti-impotence pill.

"It's awful...I've been walking around looking like a frightened turtle all year," said one man who was standing in line at the local pharmacy along with nearly 4,000 other men all waiting to fill their prescriptions.

A police official said when the suspect was apprehended he was suffering from exhaustion and chapped hands, but otherwise was in good health.

"We expect the judge to go fairly easy on him since he's already served one year of hard time."

The second suspect police are looking for is said to be a middle aged man, gray hair, 5'8" and very popular among the women.

"We caution the public to avoid direct contact with this hardened criminal and advise anyone who sees him to call police immediately."

7 Comments:

Blogger Morgen said...

Didn't Rush Limbaugh just come back from a Brazilian vacation?

10:16 AM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

I feel I must take a FIRM stand on this. Viagra jokes are just not UP to your usual STIFF standards. I know your attempt at this was NOT IMPOTENT in your DESIRE TO PERFORM. You tried VERY HARD to entertain us. I am not trying to be a PRICK here, but, this article was kind of a BONER. If you want to STAND out in the crowd, you need to ERECT a blog to boobies.

I have ENGORGED myself on your witty writings and laughed LONG and HARD. Keep at it, the PEN IS mightier than the sword.

Just kidding.... Great Post.

Later Yall.....

11:02 AM  
Blogger R's Musings said...

My husband & I had a good laugh at this one! Thanks.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Michael C said...

"Hard"ened criminal? I love it!!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Dr. A said...

Great stuff. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Thought I would do the same. Keep up the great blog. I'm going to add you to my blog list, if that's ok.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Anyone going up against that guy would expect stiff resistance...

3:18 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

I believe you might be right Mogan. I understand he had a HARD time getting his THINGS through customs though!

Meloncutter, you've probably gotten everyone hot with this comment, and not the hot under the collar kind of hot. You dirty dog you!

Musings, glad you got a good laugh. Did you get anything else?

Michael, there is one problem with Viagra as far as hardened goes. If you do not swallow the tablet correctly you end up with a very stiff neck apparently...beware!

Glad you CAME on board dr. a.

Andrew, your comment brought to mind that if we could air drop a liquid form of viagra in all the war torn countries we could change the way the world looks at stiff resistance.

8:01 AM  

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