Budget Cuts Leaving Americans Mad As Hell

The absurditiy of American budget cuts may soon affect the way most people enjoy a meal and will likely lead to more and more people asking "Where's The Beef"?

The U.S. Department of Agriculture, in an effort to save some $35 million a year, is denying a Kansas beef producer from testing their cattle for that nasty mad cow disease, otherwise known as brain wasting disease, (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) because they would unfortunately set a good example that would require the same rigorous testing by other livestock companies.

"Eh...so we lose a few people here and there," said a spokesman for the USDA. "We've crunched the numbers and there's simply not enough people dying to warrent this kind of departmental spending."

According to one study, only 1% of the roughly 100,000 cattle slaughtered daily in the U.S. are tested, and that according to the USDA, will soon be reduced by 90%, which means they will test only 110 cows a day.

Nearly every country has banned or partially banned importing American beef because they feel that the U.S. is not committed enough to perform these simple tests which could save thousands of peoples lives over the next millinium.

Several vegetarian groups however are hailing this as a victory for their cause.

"We've always been against eating meat in any way, shape or form," said the CEO of Yellow Skin Foods, a company that supplies vegetables and fish to most restaurants across America. "It is far better to eat vegetables grown in toxic soil and mercury laden fish than to take a chance on beef at any time."

For those still not sure about what beef is safe to eat here is a simple test that should help you decide whether or not to eat that steak on your plate.