THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Gibson Vies For Public Sympathy To Save Career

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Gibson Vies For Public Sympathy To Save Career

News whores from around the world are currently experiencing what can only be described as a feeding frenzy after news leaked out that Mel Gibson, one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol in Malibu early this month.

But the arrest itself is not what’s keeping the story alive, it’s the potty-mouth racial slurs that has caught the attention of everyone.

People all over the world are asking the same question these days.

“Is Mel Gibson an anti-Semite or just a drunken belligerent asshole with a foul mouth?”

The actor, who prior to being taken into custody on Friday, was seen partying his ass off at a local hot spot in this tiny coastal enclave that is home to many celebrities and witnesses say he was pretty toasted when he left.

Police officers stopped the vehicle after they noticed the car was being driven erratically and at very high speeds along Pacific Coast Highway.

Being ever the actor, Gibson's lame assed attempt to divert attention away from his drunken ass along with the open alcohol container discovered in his vehicle, he let loose in a verbal diatribe of off the cuff anti-Semetic verbal sewage.

According to a report on, it is clear to see the Mr. Gibson was not a happy camper.

His comments were as follows: "Fucking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," after which he posed a question to the deputy. "Are you a Jew?"

Gibson, who with the help of a high priced celebrity publicist, is currently on damage control hoping to save his career.

“I am not an anti-Semite, some of my best friends are [fucking] Jews, and most of the time they provide the [fucking] financing for my [fucking] movies” Gibson said at a press conference earlier this week. “I am just an ignorant [fucking] asshole and I love my [fucking] career…did I say I love [fucking] Jews...I love [fucking] Jews, please give me my 'Holocaust' series back...I promise to keep my [fucking] mouth shut?”

Although his excuse for this inexplicable behavior is still under the scrutiny of the world, one political insider is saying that this was all a hoax, that the lines were scripted by government officials who were hoping to divert the publics attention away from the embarrassing failed attempt by Condolesa Rice to bring some kind of resolution to the war in the Middle East, which of course involves many Jews.


The female officer who Gibson referred to as “Sweet Tits” after he noticed her watching the debacle he was making of himself is in the process of negotiating a new multi-million dollar career.

One of Hollywood’s most prolific television producers saw her during the news coverage and offered her the leading role in a series they have been developing for the fall called Malibu Bust:CSI, which will co-star Pamela Anderson.


Blogger Morgen said...

Malibu Bust: CSI = priceless. Glad some good is gonna come from this debacle :)

But, "I'm not anti-semitic?" Um, excuse me, have you ever known a drunk who wasn't letting the TRUTH come out loud & clear when they were under the influence? How many marriages have been destroyed by drunken mumblings of "I love you, Fred."
"Fred??? My name is Sally!"

8:40 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Thank you, Morgen! One of my favorite latin phrases, "En Vino Veritas" = In wine, truth.

And who does he think he's kidding? I mean come on; the Passion of the Christ, his Holocaust denying father (whom he has never spoken out against). Fuck you Mel Gibson! I've never watching "What Women Want" again! "The Man Without a Face" sucked! And guess what? We Jews own Hollywood, so you just royally fucked yourself, didn't you? No wonder you're crawling on your hands and knees for forgiveness. Hitler would be ashamed.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Julie said...


9:01 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

I think you hit the nail on the head, even though I'm not a Jew (and there's nothing wrong with that).

Perhaps a remake of "The Man Without A Face" would be more fitting than ever right now.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Touche, all! Last Gibson movies I watched were Gallipoli and Road Warrior. He should have stayed in Australia.

What kind of millionaire doesn't have a driver or special handler, anyway? Well -- Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson, and we see how well things are going for them, too. I knew a guy (English teacher) who did the same thing as Gibson, only he called the cops "fucking Nazis" and then recited the alphabet backwards -- the Greek alphabet. He spent the night in jail.

Cheers, Erik

11:32 AM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

Effing jews?????? I thot we were after the effing oil. I thought the effing arabs had all the effing oil and the effing jews just wanted to be left effing alone. Aren't the effing oil companies controlling the effing militaries of the various effing oil producing effing countries in effing hopes the the effing United States will effing gain effing control of the effing oil?

And by the effing way, Has anyone effing checked effing Mel effing Gibsons effing green card. Maybe the effing INS should effing deport his effing ass back to effing wherever he effing came from.

Effing thank effing you for effing letting me make this effing comment.

Effing Later Yall

The effing Meloneffingcutter

PS. I had an effing good time writing this effing thing. I think I wore out my effing welcome and should eff off now.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Michael C said...

CSI Malibu Bust, great!!

I think that comes on right after Britney Spears' first foray into TV, sitcoms: "Honey I Dropped the Kids."

9:57 PM  
Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

Mel who? Oh, that Mel, the one who used to have a career. Does anyone remember Jimmy "The Greek?" Didn't he say something bad too? What happened to him? But I guess there's a difference, Mel's comments were alcohol induced.

12:02 AM  
Blogger COxford said...


I appreciate the comment that you left on my last blog post. With some thanks to you, I am in a little better spirits than I have been in recently.

We're headed for the coast of NC next week and this has helped some also. I figured out that I am getting old because every time that I open up my emailboxes they are full of Viagra ads.

I do enjoy your writing and all of yours posts. Hope that all of your plans work out for you.

The Best to You,

C. Oxford

9:25 AM  
Blogger Morgen said...

check out today's (8/4) Savage Chickens for a good Mel Gibson/SugarTits cartoon! or click on the link at It's A Blog Eat Blog World

Have a Great Weekend!

9:32 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

Mel Gibson should get absolutely no special treatment just because he is a hollywood star. If you or I went around saying the "drunken" things that he said we'd be locked up with the key thrown away.

8:50 AM  

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