THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Virginity No Laughing Matter At PBS

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Virginity No Laughing Matter At PBS

Fearing future problems, possible lawsuits and complaints from red state children, PBS fired Melanie Martinez, the host of the PBS Kids Sprout's "The Good Night Show" after she revealed that she had appeared in videos called "Technical Virgin" Saving Yourself.

The two videos, which spoof PSA's about how young women can keep their virginity, were shot long before Martinez was hired to host the PBS show where she uses a puppet to lull children between the ages of 2 - 5 into a dreamy state shortly before retiring for the night.

Executives feel that the repercussions of such 'virginal' promotion would only serve to deter many of these young viewers who spend a huge amount of time each day searching the web without their parents knowledge for various sexually oriented websites in pursuit of becoming better educated.

"We here at PBS do not promote virginity in any form," said a spokesman for the show. "The audacity of this actress telling young women how they can hold onto their cherry longer than need be is an act against mankind and cannot be tolerated, especially now that we know that her puppet moves had an ulterior motive all along."

Martinez, a stage actress and mother to a toddler, was surprised by the immediate firing and had this warning for others who may fill her now empty host seat.

"Keep your fricking mouth shut," she said.

PBS announced they would replace the show temporarily with reruns of "Lassie" but are expected to edit out any show related to the dog being in heat during mating season.

8 Comments:

Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

PBS has become scared shitless of the FCC and the Republican dominated Congress which controls what limited funding PBS now gets from the government. How else do you explain the firing of Ms. Martinez or the digital blocking out of the breasts of Marilyn Monore on her famous Playboy centerfold during a recent American Masters program? The carnage in the world continues but God help us if we see a pair of titties! Is it too late to move to Canada?

12:23 PM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

I suppose, as I have never seen the show, that the puppet's name is BOB? (Battery Operated Boyfriend) I guess I might have to pay a little more attention to PBS. (Publicly Broadcasting Sluts).

Later Yall.

12:50 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Meloncutter,

I take offense at your comment of Publicly Broadcasting Sluts, LOL.

Okay, I'm not a slut, really, but I do publicly broadcast...oh...I guess that wasn't about me.

Never Mind!

2:16 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

If any of you who comment here are inclined to check out other websites from commenters on this page by clicking their link I must warn you that Horny Old Guys blog is pretty much X rated so watch out!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Dwardisimo Rex said...

Holly crap! I thought you said Horny Old Guy's site was about an X-ray gun! My eyes!

5:54 PM  
Blogger Michael C said...

My twins watch Sprout 24/7. My only concern is why my IQ keeps dropping!!

6:13 PM  
Blogger Ang Gu Gu said...

lol..horny old guys rocks =p hiakz

5:06 AM  
Blogger thethinker said...

Another great entry. Keep up the good blogging. I linked you, by the way. Hope you don't mind.

5:47 AM  

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