THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Hooters Chairman Found Tits Up

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hooters Chairman Found Tits Up

Robert Brooks, whose name rose in the headlines after he became chairman of the 'Hooters' chain of restaurants, was found dead in his home in Myrtle Beach on Sunday, according to authorities.

Brooks, whose penchant for chicken wings and large breasted women gained him millions of fans across the nation when he decided that his servers would all be female and would have to meet certain cleavage requirements, a 'C' or larger bra cup size, in order to get hired.

Police say although they have no solid leads in the case they are working with clues found at the scene.

"We found a 'Nearly B' sized bra along with a shredded job application in close proximity to the body and are working to track down the owner of the lingerie," said a spokesman for the Myrtle Beach Police Department. "We believe that this may not have been a premeditated act, moreover, we believe it was an instantaneous act of rage by a prospective employee who was unable to meet his hiring requirements."

Police are requesting the publics help and are asking anyone who sees a flat chested braless woman walking around to contact them immediately.

11 Comments:

Blogger COxford said...

I enjoy reading your blog and take on the news. Got here through Bobbys blog. Would you be interested in a link exchang with my blog? I just write about what ever comes to mind at the time.

C. Oxford

9:28 AM  
Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

Our country makes too big a deal out of breasts, and that is why a place like "HOOTERS" does well. There'd be a much bigger uproar if they named a chain of restaurants after the male anatomy. "Dick's Last Resort" indeed, except let's rename it "Dickheads," since part of there gimmick is to be rude to the patrons. What do you think? They could hire male employees only, based on wiener size, and have them serve burgers while sporting Speedos.

8:06 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Jeeze, for a minute there I thought you didn't love me anymore.

Where exactly is this place 'Dickheads'? Sounds like an exciting night out.
JB

8:14 PM  
Blogger Penrick said...

Too funny!! If you promise not to tell, it was me. I was a 46G and he told me I was too big. I got a reduction and I'm now 44DD. Now, he wants me blonde - I smothered him and brought another bra to throw off the police.

8:36 PM  
Blogger ChiefMommy Owl said...

My brother and his stupid friends used to go to Hooters all of the time for the "chicken wings."

Something about the thought of a man in a speedo serving me my food makes me want go on a hunger strike.

Who ordered the foot long?
Sara
babyowls.blogspot.com

10:44 PM  
Anonymous the laughorist said...

Maybe that IS Victoria's Secret, the she killed the titular head of Hooters. Keep us the good stuff (say, isn't that what a bra is supposed to do?).

8:40 AM  
Anonymous the laughorist said...

what's with my typos today? must be 'cause I'm supposed to be working.

Let's take it from the top, shall we?

Maybe that IS Victoria's Secret, that she killed the titular head of Hooters. JBWritergirl, keep up the good stuff -- which is what bras and Viagra do.

8:44 AM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

Hi.. I am your waiter this evening. Anyone for a Vienna Sausage appetizer?

Later Yall.

2:21 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

MMMMM...let me think...is there any special sauce with the appetizer?

6:03 PM  
Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

you are so saucy; in fact, you da sauce!

7:25 AM  
Blogger Michael C said...

Great read and great site. Reading your stuff makes we want to go back and redo every posting I've done on my site that I thought was funny.
Of course I don't have the time, so I'll just keep reading your blog until my boss catches me.

10:33 PM  

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