THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Deep Throat Flooded With Suitors

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Deep Throat Flooded With Suitors

A 25-year-old woman in Missouri faced her boyfriend in court this week after he was arrested on suspicion of first-degree assault.

The couple, who have been together since 2004, had apparently been drinking heavily before a heated argument broke out that left the victim, Melinda Abell, with a cell phone stuck in her throat.

Prosecutors and defense attorneys for the couple argued as to whether the boyfriend actually shoved Abell's cell phone down her throat in a jealous rage or whether she swallowed it on her own in an attempt to hide recently dialed numbers to other men.

A hospital spokesman said the young woman is expected to fully recover from her injuries.

"She was exceptionally lucky that her mouth and throat were large enough to accommodate the cell phone and still have enough room to allow air to pass through to her lungs," the spokesman said.

Abell, nicknamed deep throat by the press, said because this case has become so widely publicized she has been inundated with phone calls from hundreds of men in her hometown and some from as far away as Europe who are hoping for a chance to wine and dine her.

8 Comments:

Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:10 AM  
Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

I'll try again (I hate typos). They make them cell phones so damn small these days that you just don't know. I guess she could've swallowed it. I'll go to your link and read the facts. --Jim

7:12 AM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

I think the guy just got confused and poked the phone in the wrong end. I have seen several situations involving cell phones that I have had very solid ideas of where I would like to put their phones.

Later Yall.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Woozie said...

I wonder if she's received any calls while it was in her bowels? Was it on vibrate?

12:33 PM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Hey JB, I saw this story earlier. Hard to make stuff like this up. I had a similar (though not violent) exchange with an ex. She insisted on knowing who I was emailing at one point, and I said, "My mother." Pretty lame, eh? Such was my "line in the sand." After all, it was "just a friend" -- whom I ended up dating after breaking up with the ex. Go figure. Cassandra or catalyst?

6:25 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Hi again, JB,
This just shows once again that some people will go to any lengths, however lame, for a relationship (if you can call what these suitors are after a relationship). These are truly desperate times, it seems.

I have friends in Southern California who echoed your comments on the intense heat recently. Hope you have recovered nicely.

9:17 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

I have a hard time swallowing a capsule never mind trying to get a cell phone down JR.

I'm with you meloncutter on the proper placement of misused cell phones, especially the walkie-talkie kind where you are subject to both sides of the conversation.

Woozie I always keep my phone on vibrate. It's one of my secret thrills.

Eric, you're a bad, bad boy and you deserve to be spanked...I'm available for spanking between the hours of 2 - 4 a.m.

Andrew I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round. Can't we all just get along.

Oh and by the way, I took my 3 day power outage as an opportunity to clean my now empty freezer for the first time in a gazzilion years so I guess it's true...every cloud has a silver lining.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Hey JB, so you've seen Center of the World? How about Paris, France? Too bad you live on the Left Coast and not the Third Coast. Actually, my old co-worker pal Trent Vanegas is making it big in L.A. and will be back in Detroit next Sat. for a going away party. I can't bring myself to write about Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Lindsay Lohan like he can, but he's making a bundle. Why not meet him for an interview? His mega-blog is at www.pinkisthenewblog.com

Cheers and other naughtiness,
Erik

8:43 PM  

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