THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Cuba Takeover On Hold

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Cuba Takeover On Hold

In an effort to ease the minds of everyone holding their breath in regards to American/Cuban relations now that their leadership has begun to unravel, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice promises that the United States will not take over Cuba...at least not yet.

"Although we are making plans to intervene, intercede and take over Cuban rule, I must first figure out how to repair the damage I've done and rebuild my credibility after my missadventures in the Middle East recently."

Many Americans are chomping at the bit to see just what lies ahead for this communist led country, especially since news coming out of Cuba has become sketchy at best about Fidel Castro's health and the fact that Raul Castro, brother of the dictator, has not been seen since taking over power of the country.

Democrats are hoping for a successful U.S. invasion in hopes of dissolving the trade embargo, which prevents many sought after goods from leaving the country.

Former President Bill Clinton, whose rather odd penchant for cuban cigars, was one of the first to come forward in support of a take over.

"I haven't been able to get hold of one of those babies since I was in the White House," he said. "It has definitely put a crimp in my dating style, although I must admit, my wife is unusually happy about this."

The U.S. government also sees this as an opportunity to reduce the homeland security defense budget by eliminating the need for Coast Guard rescue missions to save those trying to escape to the land of the free.

Several cruise lines have come forward hoping to land a contract to provide safe passage from Cuba to America and visa versa and will offer the treasury department a huge slice of what could lead to huge profits for both entities.

5 Comments:

Blogger Michael C said...

Cuba will become the new tropical get away for us Americans. How does Disneyland Cuba sound?

I can see the park's new themed 'lands' now. "Infidel Land," "Dictator Island" and "The Bay of Pigs Waterway, featuring The Boats Of The Cuban Missile Crisis Blockade, Presented By Coca Cola."

9:34 AM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Haha, very funny ;) I always liked the Cubans for some reason, especially the ones living in Cuba. The anti-communist ones in Miami are kind of a drag, though --as is "Dr." Rice, who, like the rest of the Bushistas, seems to haveno idea of what the hell she's doing. Comforting. Now, for a Cuban cigar across the Detroit River in more enlightened Canada. . . .

11:35 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

According to my sources, when America invades Cuba, Japan will call for a pseudo-permanent partial ban on beef exports from the Caribbean nation during any months with "r" in them, and France plans to surrender immediately.

4:05 PM  
Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

My Canadian coworkers go to Cuba for cheap vacations and would not like to see a United States intervention. I guess they feel we could always vacation in their country.

10:21 PM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

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Best Regards, Mother Jones RN

7:59 AM  

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