Ed was a bit of an airhead and found himself in a great deal of trouble one morning. He'd forgotten his wedding anniversary, which pissed his wife off to no end.
The wife confronted him and told him that the following morning she expected to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 - 60 in less than 6 seconds or ELSE.
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting smack dab in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened it only to find a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.