THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Saturday News Rap

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Saturday News Rap

California has been accused of trying to kill health fanatics using their secret weapon--SPINACH! Bush officials say they will investigate further and will seek out this weapon of mass destruction.

Models have been banned from fashion shows across Europe for setting a bad example for young women who aspire to look just like them--skinny, boney, and for the most part guantly unattractive. Nicole Richie is expected to protest this ban.

Anna Nicole's son has died as a result of his lifestyle, which will eventually boil down to the crystal meth having its way with his brain. Anna denies that HER lifestyle has anything to do with her sons death.

Whitney and Bobby have finally decided they've had enough of each others drug and spousal abuse. The divorce is scheduled to take place immediately upon their release from rehab.

8 Comments:

Blogger COxford said...

Jacqui,

Y'all be careful out there, Bush may declare war on California and you will end up facing troops for the rest of your natural lives with no solution in site.

Can't you imagine asking Mama Nichole for advice in "life matters".

Have a great weekend!!!


C. Oxford

3:10 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Thanks C, I tried to leave a comment on your blog about how I profile cars but it would not take it. I guess my opinion was too far to the left to be considered rightious. (I don't think that's how it's spelled but I'm in a hurry)

And by the way, I am no longer with USAVoice. Turns out it's some kind of scam or whatnot so It's Over!

I've also decided that the other gig, if you know what I mean, goes a little beyond my sense of comfort so I will not likely be doing that either. Guess I'm just fucked!

Oh well. Like I've always said 'tis better to have been fucked than not to have been fucked'!

Ciao,
JB

6:09 PM  
Blogger Laffy Taffy said...

maybe california will get nuked that will suck that was random but so is saying that
www.a-dumb-blog.blogspot.com
has a poll asking you if you eat people, which it does.

7:47 PM  
Blogger bethany said...

Am interested to find out what happened to Anna Nicoles son.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Morgen said...

Jacqui -- sorry to hear that the USAVoice gig wasn't legit, and now I guess Inquiring Minds will never know your tabloid-potential. But at least you're not a spinach farmer.

9:57 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Thank you Morgan,

I'm feeling a litrtle down in the shits area right about now.

I'm always looking for the next best thing but it somehow alwas is elusive. WTF?

Maybve I should tart my own onion as my hubby often suggess, I don't know. Fuck!!!!!!!!!

It's always something isn't it?

11:29 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Okay, I admit it.

My comment last night came in a splurt of frustration!

I apologize!

My new policy is to never write ANYTHING after massive consumption of alcoholic beverages!

11:50 AM  
Blogger Erik Donald France said...

Jaqui, keep the faith -- this is good stuff! The irony of the spinach outbreak was not lost here. Seems like a Dead Kennedys song come true, deson't it?

12:26 PM  

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