Columbian Gangsters Stunned By Sex Strike

Women across Columbia are waging their own kind of war on criminal activity.

Seventy-five percent of the reported murders in the country were the result of street crime and common criminals, while the remaining 25% were attributed to guerrilla activity and narcoterrorists. Last year alone there were 480 murders.

During a town hall meeting with officials early this week, the wives, girlfriends and other 'associative' women of some of the most notorious gang leaders agreed to utilize what has been aptly named the 'crossed leg' sex strike.

Rather than blowing their male partners they are using a more 'femme fatale' tactic by blowing them off instead.

"Withholding sex has been used to control men throughout history and we're hoping that because none of the women, including prostitutes who are often used as substitutes during these denial periods, will be putting out, we feel that in a short period of time many of these hardened criminals will lay down their arms in order to lay down 'IN' their arms," said a spokesman for the Mayor.

One woman, whose husband uses sex on a regular basis to relieve the stress related to his high crime lifestyle, said she expects to see an immediate change in the countries criminal climate.

"I believe that when these criminals realize that shooting off a rifle or shooting off at the mouth is as close as they'll get to shooting anything else off, they'll soon start turning in their weapons."