THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Columbian Gangsters Stunned By Sex Strike

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Columbian Gangsters Stunned By Sex Strike

Women across Columbia are waging their own kind of war on criminal activity.

Seventy-five percent of the reported murders in the country were the result of street crime and common criminals, while the remaining 25% were attributed to guerrilla activity and narcoterrorists. Last year alone there were 480 murders.

During a town hall meeting with officials early this week, the wives, girlfriends and other 'associative' women of some of the most notorious gang leaders agreed to utilize what has been aptly named the 'crossed leg' sex strike.

Rather than blowing their male partners they are using a more 'femme fatale' tactic by blowing them off instead.

"Withholding sex has been used to control men throughout history and we're hoping that because none of the women, including prostitutes who are often used as substitutes during these denial periods, will be putting out, we feel that in a short period of time many of these hardened criminals will lay down their arms in order to lay down 'IN' their arms," said a spokesman for the Mayor.

One woman, whose husband uses sex on a regular basis to relieve the stress related to his high crime lifestyle, said she expects to see an immediate change in the countries criminal climate.

"I believe that when these criminals realize that shooting off a rifle or shooting off at the mouth is as close as they'll get to shooting anything else off, they'll soon start turning in their weapons."

8 Comments:

Blogger Mistress Regina said...

This seems like a perfect spot to let you know I have added a new link to your site. It is located in our library...

Tales Of Ladies, Goddesses And Bitches

10:35 AM  
Blogger Mistress Regina said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Evil Genius said...

"Hardened" criminals, hehehehe.

Love the double entendre...

Cheers!

3:44 PM  
Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Okay, the persnickety copy editor in me will probably provoke the Comment Moderation hammer. Things have gotten that bad at Columbia? Those Ivy League schools just ain't what they used to be.

4:16 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

Well done, even if you are just another member of the west-coast, liberal elite, liberal media.

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

9:01 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Thanks for the link Mistress, appreciate it. Yes,,,yes,,,I know you're waiting for stories but I'm pretty busy at the moment.

Evil, glad to give you a hehehehehe!

Pawlie, I've heard it's rampant everywhere.

Theodore, Glad you can put up with just one more elitest f'ing media member. (Wait, does media member only refer to male journalists?)

1:39 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Oh JB, this site is ALWAYS good for a laugh, and this post is no exception. Thanks for giving us yet another tour far off the beaten track.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

JB, I'm enlightened enough to recognize female members of the west-coast, liberal elite, liberal media. So have no worries, I consider you to be smack dab in the middle of that America-hating group.

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

9:56 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

My Photo
Name:
Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

One day I was sitting in front of my computer trying to capture an image, but instead, the computer caught my soul. I have been living inside this little box for some time now and I like it when people visit. Come on, you know you want to tell me something...


Get my banner code or create your own banner

Powered by Blogger

Add to Technorati Favorites
referer referrer referers referrers http_referer
get this clock
I got a Goldstar
BlogAdvance Top Blogs
Solution Graphics
........................................
Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz
.........................................

Powered by Blogger

............................................................................... web site promotion Funniest Video
  • 'BEST BLOG OF THE DAY' JULY 1, 2006 Read The Review .........................................