THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Popeye Turns Over In Grave

Friday, September 15, 2006

Popeye Turns Over In Grave

All across the nation health fanatics have been lining up at hospitals and health care clinics hoping for test results to show that they have not been infected with the e-coli bacteria.

Millions of bags of packaged spinach, which have currently been traced to a California natural foods company in San Juan Bautista, have been tainted with the deadly bacteria.

E-coli infection becomes apparent soon after ingestion and it's symptoms include an insurmountable amount of foul smelling gas followed immediately by crapping your brains out and often is followed by what medical officials refer to as 'sudden death'.

Officials are saying that the public should not panic but should use caution when picking their vegetables during their grocery store visits.

"With the billions of cases of obesity in every state we're certain the outbreak will be contained to only those people who lead a healthy lifestyle with a healthy diet," one official said. "That really narrows down the number of people we're expecting to get sick."

Government officials hoping for the best but preparing for the worst offered this advice to the public.

"If you have ingested any of this bad spinach and you're not already dead, you should prepare immediately by bending over and kissing your ass goodbye."

7 Comments:

Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

I just wish it was broccoli.

6:17 AM  
Blogger Morgen said...

thank gawd I'm fat and eat only deep fried foods. at least when I keel over from the heart attack I'll die with a smile on my greasy face, and not clinging to a bloody toilet as my intestines shoot out my ravaged ass.
on that lovely thought: have a nice weekend, y'all!

8:33 AM  
Blogger Archit said...

Hey JB!

Thanks for visiting my blog - TopJokes.blogspot.com.

Make your blog famous at the all new LinkLords.blogspot.com

9:27 AM  
Blogger thethinker said...

Thankfully, my diet is restricted to fast food.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Bazza said...

Hi, JBW. I came here through Best Blog of the Day. It's a funny site alright but from where I am (UK) it's a bit 'foreign'! Like this story, for instance, I presume it's not just entirely made up but a twist on some spinach related happening. If so, a link would be really useful so us uninformed Limeys could check it out! Thanks for the entertainment.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Hi JB,
I'm SO happy for you! That comment you left at my site sounds like a wonderful night with your husband and I'm really glad you chose to pop in for a session of self-affirmation. I love it! I hope you have a wonderful weekend too. Sounds like you already are doing just that :o)

It also sounds like your decision to become less of an enquiring mind is a comfort, so it must be the right call. Good for you!

But what is it with you when your husband gets near a table. Whether he's sanding one or dining on one, your engines start revving. Has he noticed this pattern?

Andrew

10:30 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Bazza,

I normally put a link to the real news. Guess I just got lazy yesterday. I will add alink so you will see that, yes there is a slice of truth in the story, but no this is not what's really happening as I've written it.

Thanks for the heads up.

JB

10:32 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

My Photo
Name:
Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

One day I was sitting in front of my computer trying to capture an image, but instead, the computer caught my soul. I have been living inside this little box for some time now and I like it when people visit. Come on, you know you want to tell me something...


Get my banner code or create your own banner

Powered by Blogger

Add to Technorati Favorites
referer referrer referers referrers http_referer
get this clock
I got a Goldstar
BlogAdvance Top Blogs
Solution Graphics
........................................
Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz
.........................................

Powered by Blogger

............................................................................... web site promotion Funniest Video
  • 'BEST BLOG OF THE DAY' JULY 1, 2006 Read The Review .........................................