THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Game System Is Shocking For Consumers

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Game System Is Shocking For Consumers

In light of the success of new high-tech game systems that have captured the attention of both young and old consumers, the U.S. Department of Justice is ready to jump into the highly competitive multimillion dollar industry with a video game system and game they feel will capture America's heart.

KMA 10/4, which stands for 'Kick My Ass OK', was designed to alleviate the fear that has been generated recently after tapes of police beatings and tazer incidents were released to the public.

"We want residents throughout the country to know how to avoid situations that will lead to peril in confrontations with real life police officers ," said a spokesman for the design team. "The beauty of the game though is that if a player cannot pull themselves out of one of these bad situations they will have a chance to at least play fair by having their own weapon to defend themselves and learn new ways of beating their opponent."

The game appropriately called "Beat The Heat", which designers say is loosely based around captured video from police patrol cars, security cameras and a variety of other captured confrontational footage, allows players the opportunity to reek their own revenge on over zealous police officers who lose all control over their sensibilities and act like every day criminals.

Much like Nintendo's@ hot new WII system, which allows players to feel entirely empowered to be part of the action with the hand held controllers that puts gamers dead center into the action, 'Beat The Heat' will be released with a wireless controller that looks like and has the same exact feel of state issued tazer guns.

"The design is such that if a player fails to negotiate a direct hit on the opponent and instead becomes the recipient of a well placed shot, the system sends a message to the retaliation sensor and it shoots an electrical charge at whoever is holding the controller," the designer said. "We've taken into consideration the time it takes to recover from a tazer strike and have programmed the system to pause itself until the players is upright again."

Manufacturers warn that this system is not for everyone.

"This is the real shit and we caution anyone with heart related medical conditions not to participate in any gaming with this system, especially those who wear pacemakers--that could get pretty ugly."

A spokesman for the Justice department said the game serves two purposes, one of which aids those whose real criminal activity has pitted them against police officers again and again to gain a better knowledge of how to react, avoid or take control of a real life confrontation with law enforcement. He said the second reason they developed this particular game is due to the fact that the number of people choosing to go into law enforcement has dwindled over the years and they feel this is likely to become a crucial recruiting tool for police academies across the nation.

"There comes a time when every one of us wants a chance to beat the crap out of someone or something sometime in our life, whether it's in fun or in the line of duty, and this is the perfect solution because the only one it really hurts is the players themselves."

The system is set to be released throughout selected U.S. states in limited quantities later this week in order to capture the highest consumer market and will be released globally in early 2007.


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