THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Sunday's Chuckle- A Christmas Story

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sunday's Chuckle- A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Best Wishes,
Santa

6 Comments:

Blogger thethinker said...

That would be a little kid's worst nightmare! But I find it hilarious.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

I'm laughing so hard I almost dropped my Diet Coke on the floor. Did you write that wonderful piece? If you did, can I swipe it and link it to my blog?

MJ

8:51 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Hey mother,
Glad to give you a laugh, but no...I did not write it...it came in an email from a friend of mine. I take no credit so link away.
Jacqui

8:58 AM  
Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

I am now in the spirit. Thank you so much...

2:02 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

You're welcomed!

3:14 PM  
Blogger Chezzy Bear 69 said...

that was hilarious a friend and i were laughing all the to the end

12:39 PM  

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