THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Archdiocese To Pay For The Sins Of The Fathers

Friday, December 01, 2006

Archdiocese To Pay For The Sins Of The Fathers

**BREAKING NEWS-LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA**


This holiday season the old phrase 'pass the plate' will have a whole new meaning for those whose chosen religion falls under the wings of the Catholic church.

Yesterdays landmark decision by the largest Roman Catholic archdiocese to settle 45 of the pending 500 lawsuits against the archdiocese in regards to sexual abuse cases has many people nervous as to where the $60 million will come from.

"It's sort of like the pay-at-the-pump, pay-as-you-go theory,' said one disgruntled parishioner. "You take it up the ass back then and you take it up the ass now--either way it's going to come back to what we throw in the collection pot every Sunday."

Last year California legislators passed a state law that suspended the statute of limitations for sexual abuse claims and has received more than a 1,000 claims.

A spokesman for the church, who would speak only under the condition he remain anonymous, said that these monetary settlements should go a long way to help some of the victims recapture the youth that was stolen from them.

4 Comments:

Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Great post. Very funny!

Bud

5:45 PM  
Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Well if they'd put pie plates in the back of their pants to begin with they wouldn't have to pass the plate now, right?

6:10 PM  
Blogger zorak163 said...

I love this blog! Thanks for the laughs!

8:51 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

It's about time these west-coast, liberal elite papists paid for their actions! You don't see these homosexual trysts engaged in by real Christians! (Well, save Ted Haggard, et al....)

I'm going to start my campaign against the papists for their acceptance of Darwinian monkeyism now!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

9:27 PM  

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