THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Give A Little Piece-Get A Little Peace

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Give A Little Piece-Get A Little Peace

As world peace efforts continue to draw our attention, many companies are jumping on the bandwagon hoping for their own 'piece' of the pie as they gear up to beat the December 22 'come one, come all' deadline.

Yes, as Global Orgasm Day approaches financial planners are greasing more than their hands, speculating that stocks in companies who provide sexual lubricants will make a huge leap.

"This is a hole in one so to speak for clients looking to get into the stockmarket," said one trader.

Some of the top producers hoping to 'slide into the number one slot' with this anti-war protest include KY Jelly@, Aqualube@ (for those who like underwater sex), Astroglide@, Elbow Grease@ (for those who enjoy the solo journey), and Probe@ (self explanatory).

Other companies, such as Ibprofen manufactures are also hoping to increase sales.

"We expect men to be our number one consumers in an effort to eliminate the uttering of those dreaded words 'not tonight honey, I have a headache'," said an unidentified representative of one off brand manufacturer.

Organizers of this premier event are hoping to change the energy field of the earth as all participants reach orgasm's at the same time with thoughts of global peace being the only thing running through their mind before, during and after the act.

Critics of the effort say that many, especially men, will find this a daunting experience and are concerned that it will spike population growth worldwide.

"Men who are exceedingly sexually active are always looking for their next piece, not world peace," said Dick Gozinya. "I'm going to participate because I feel it's part of my civic duty but I fully expect this to lead to a lot of new babies next summer."

For more information you can check out the orgasminations website at GLOBAL ORGASM

8 Comments:

Blogger Dr. A said...

I'm definitely doing my part as an orgasm donor. HA!

3:40 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Excuse me but don't doctors always get a second opinion? Maybe even a third?

JB

4:15 PM  
Blogger Stewart Sternberg said...

Actually, Global Orgasm Day is a big holiday here at Algonac. Each year we select the Global Orgasm Queen, a ritual that involves much silly putty and baking powder, and have her at the head of the parade. The floats are always spectaular, with last years' winner being Dr. Ornstein's, P.C. sponsored: "Drilling Isn't Just For Dentists".

Thanks for helping spread the cheer of the holiday.

4:49 PM  
Blogger COxford said...

Stewart,

The heck with the baking powder and silly putty, I like the giving head at the parade part.

This is probably the reason she is the GOQ for the year.

LOL JB

C. Oxford

6:02 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

What do you mean C? Always put the lady first, that's using your...er...head! LOL
Talk soon,
Jb

6:20 PM  
Blogger Smalltown RN said...

ROTFL......this is great....just what the doctor ordered. Thanks...

Oh and thanks for dropping by my blog...skittle has some very nice blog friends. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

Cheers!

9:40 PM  
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