THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Vacation Offers 'Fucking Good Time'

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Vacation Offers 'Fucking Good Time'

With the gay tourism ban controversy still brewing in the Caribbean, one hotel chain has found a way to tip the balance in their favor by inviting vacationers to come--literally!

In offering 'Procreation Vacations' The Westin Hotel at the Lucaya Grand Bahama Island is betting on big profits by providing whatever debauchery is needed in order to get couples hornier-than-hell so that they will leave the island happy and pregnant.

From the minute you enter the hotel there is no doubt about what this vacation is all about. Couples are greeted with a 'conception reception', which includes a series of short porn flicks, lap dancers both male and female and an endless supply of sexy looking alcoholic beverages.


What entices many vacation planners to book this particular hotel is that according to their brochure, every room comes with nine Viagra tablets so that each and every moment of the day boasts the possibility for fertile fucking.

"We threw in the Viagra as a last minute thought based on the fact that these tiny pills can keep you up for up to eight hour increments," said the concierge. "This is especially beneficial for those older gentlemen who've dumped their first wives in favor of younger brides."

There is a plethora of services, including sex-therapists, orgasm specialists, and several lingerie boutiques. The hotel offers an anything goes policy but the one item they do not offer is any form of birth control.

"We want our clientele to 'be up the creek without a paddle' so to speak," said a spokesman for the hotel chain.

So how much does a weekend of sex cost on the island? According to hotel management it's a great deal.

"We've priced the three-day package at just under $2,000 because we understand that once you're pregnant you're going to pay for the rest of your life."

One couple who recently returned home pregnant as promised said that although this was the best vacation they'd ever had they were deeply saddened that they would never be able to go back.

"The hotel does not allow children."

2 Comments:

Blogger that frolicsome kid said...

Ohhh my gosh! And this hotel really exists?! I guess it's the place where honeymooners would want to go!

9:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great story or I guess you could call it an expose, in the truest sense of the word. I think I need a little more romance than this place allows. When I'm naughty, I don't necessarily want everyone to know. It's more fun if they don't. What ever happened to good taste anyway? Enjoyed stopping in on your blog.

6:07 PM  

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