THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Evangelical Scandal--Mixing Sex And Politics Bad News For Tourism

Monday, November 13, 2006

Evangelical Scandal--Mixing Sex And Politics Bad News For Tourism

Religious zealots have joined together in the Caribbean to ban gay cruises from setting foot on the white puritan shores of their islands.

In a statement released to the press by Bill Daniel, president of the Islands Evangelical Association, it was clear how he felt about those living this type of lifestyle.

He told reporters their organization is hoping the government will step in to help stop the gay tourists from coming to their island and conducting themselves in any immoral fashion. He would not make any further statement until he met with the rest of his rightious holier-that-thou Association members.

Many people are speculating however, that this comes at a time when the Evangelical leadership has come under massive scrutiny after it was discovered that, Ted Haggard, president of the 30-million-member National Association of Evangelicals, has been involved in a gay relationship with a male prostitute for the past three years.

"The 'do as I say not as I do' message has begun to bring more and more closet dwellers in their organization out of the closet," said one islander who believes that religion should have no place in defining who is a good tourist and who is not.

Those opposed to the ban say this is just another cover up by religious factions who depend so much on controlling the thoughts and actions of those who practice religion.

Critics of this proposed ban are angry that the religious community is trying to take priority over tourism, something that keeps all their religious leaders living on the islands in their pricey little condos along the beach.

"We have men and women who come here for the sole purpose of getting it on not only in the hotels but on the beaches as well, and not only that, they drink to much, party all night and usually end up trashing their rooms" said one cab driver who admitted he'd gotten quite a few nifty wardrobe tips from some of his gay passengers. "Fucking is fucking no matter who it is, and until they tell me that a gay man's money is no longer green I will always welcome him into my taxi."

This issue has been brewing for years though. In 1998, a cruise ship carrying thousands of beautiful lesbians stopped in their port and were met by more than 400 local protesters, mostly single men, who were upset by the fact that every woman stepping off the boat was partnered by another women, which they felt would deprive them of some quick poontang.


Blogger Simon said...

interesting post. would you like to link with me?

let me know

7:25 PM  
Blogger R's Musings said...

JB, this is hilarious! Glad you're back! Hope things are well with you!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Penrick said...

Too funny. You gotta love those island men looking for "cruise" women who apparently can't have sex unless they go on vacation.......hey, not a bad reason to get away.

6:18 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

I bet the protesting guys were just ticked off because they tried to get onto the gay cruise ship late one night when no one was looking, but the ship staff spotted them and sent them packing.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

It's about time! Who better to set the moral compass of our country - nay, our earth - than evangelical leaders, especially after their swift and STRONG denouncement of Haggard (by saying they didn't really know the guy)? Someone's got to step up to the west-coast, liberal elite, pro-gay cruise mongerers.

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

7:51 PM  

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