THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Do These Jeans Make My Ass Look Fat?

Monday, November 20, 2006

Do These Jeans Make My Ass Look Fat?


Finding the perfect pair of jeans can be at best a trying experience for many women, especially when the price tag boasts numbers upwards of two to three hundred bucks a shot.

With denim being the number one trend in fashion, whether for pleasure or business, it's no wonder we see so many female consumers breaking into a sweat and popping anti-depressants before heading to the mall.

"I'd rather be having root canal than face myself in that three way mirror," said one consumer who has spent many long hours trying to pour her muffin topped size 10 butt into these new itsy-bitsy fashion statements.

It seems every designer has a vested interest in this growing market.

In Los Angeles where men are judged by the car they drive, so too are the women, solely based on what they have stretched across their ass.

But, there is hope now that an on-line company is taking the embarrassing dressing room experience out of the equation.

Zafu.com offers consumers a way to determine what jeans will best fit your body type all in the privacy of your own home. Just answer a few questions on their site and up pops your best choices.

For those who do not fall into the category of 'jeans wearer' you will be redirected to their sister site MooMoo.com.

5 Comments:

Blogger ~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Don't even get me started on trying to find the perfect pair of jeans.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Meloncutter said...

When I was last asked if the jeans made her ass look fat.... I replied, "Which one? Ya got 4 or 5 of em stuffed in there." I was the one who got the root canal after getting to the dentist after getting my ass kicked.

Note to self... next time reply... "No Dear It looks great."

Later Y'all

6:06 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

I hear your pain silver. If I can squeeze my leg in the rest don't exactly shimmy up very far...if you know what I mean!

Melon, Nice to know you can take it like a man! Next time try the "oh crap, I've got something in my eye, do we have any eye drops...oh man this is really killing me, I can't see out of my eye.......

6:40 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

My favorite response to that question: "Your butt is NOT fat, so nothing you could wrap around it could make it look that way."

When will guys learn? In guy-speak she is saying: "I'm feeling insecure right now. Please help me feel better." Of course, if she is asking while trying the jeans on in a store, then it means, "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?" so if they DO emphasize the size of her ... um, holdings ... then you could claim to not like the color and just say, "Here, have a chocolate."

Happy Thanksgiving JB! (...and I think I'll invite someone to lunch now)

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Free Wallpaper Download said...

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10:42 PM  

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