THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: U.S. Launches Bird Flu Into Space

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

U.S. Launches Bird Flu Into Space

In what appears to be an attempt to stave off the Avian Flu NASA officials reportedly placed several batches of bird crap on the rear wing of the recently launched space shuttle.

"With all the publicity about a bird flu pandemic with it's predicted deadly outcomes we felt it was in the publics best interest to shoot the shit into outer space," said a spokesman for the scientific group.

NASA officials would not confirm or deny they misled the public when they announced they'd discovered a crack in the foam on the exterior of the shuttle, but as it turns out it was just a ruse to buy more time, according to newly released information.

It has since been confirmed that Dr. Byrd Crow, a specialist in Avian research who works in conjunction with the Meteorological Aeronautical Avian task force, was brought in several months ago to create a plan that would lure the birds to shit on the shuttle then head directly into the path of on coming air traffic eliminating the possibility for them to further contaminate the ecological system.

"Migratory birds are capable of traveling thousands of miles over a short period of time and with them comes these awful diseases they inherently carry," said Crow. "They have become a menace to society and developing the technology that would enable the space program to carry their deadly droppings as far away as possible is a viable , feasible and reasonable plan."

Crow said project 'Crap Shoot' is expected to continue over the next several years or until such time as these shitting, disease spreading creature are obliterated.

2 Comments:

Blogger AnoNick said...

A very funny article. :D One would not suspect it's fake (er... uhm... isn't it? ;-) ).

Nicely written parody. Must add this blog to my favourites.

6:27 AM  
Blogger meloncutter said...

What a payLOAD. I wonder if they got this idea while DOODLING on a piece of paper. I am surprised that a STOOL pigeon didn't let this plan out before. Funny.
Later Yall.

8:27 AM  

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