THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Bin Ladin Wants A Stiff One

Friday, June 30, 2006

Bin Ladin Wants A Stiff One

Federal officials released new information about the content of Osama bin Ladin's latest 19-minute taped message received by President Bush.

After countless hours of verifying that the voice was truely that of bin Ladin, officials said the message was clear and simple--bin Ladin wants his bitch back even though he's dead.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, one of the highest ranking terrorist leaders in Iraq was killed earlier this month after two 500-pound American bombs hit the compound where he had retreated because of a domestic spat with bin Ladin. Rumors of their unusual relationship had been spreading since the onset of the war after the two had been spotted together sharing drinks at several local bars but officials would neither confirm or deny that the two men had been playing house.

In a statement to the press, Bin Ladin would only state that he was very upset by the ugly turn of events during their brief seperation.

"It's very painful for me because we usually tried to get bombed together."

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