THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Alternatives To Greenhouse Gas Stinks

Monday, June 26, 2006

Alternatives To Greenhouse Gas Stinks

Court officials announced today they are looking into ways to curb the affects of Greenhouse Gas.

"We've tried to address this significant issue but have fallen short of our goal over the years," one official said. "We want to end this problem once and for all."

One measure expected to be implemented as early as next month is to issue signs to every greenhouse owner across the U.S. that states clearly to all employees that it is never okay to fart inside these delicate glass buildings.

For most of these small business owners it will eliminate or reduce tensions between employers and staff by putting the onus on employees--forcing them to manage their flatulence or risk losing their job.

"It's about time the government finally did something about this because some days the smell is so pungent, and I'm not talking about the flower fragrance, it makes you want to just turn around and go home," one owner said. "We're hoping this will really put the pressure on our employees to get their butts outside when they feel the urge to let one rip."

Employees, however, feel much differently about the issue.

"There was never a discussion about this when I was hired and I think it's unfair to ask us to keep stepping outside. Every moment we're not tending the plants it comes out of our pay," said one disgruntled employee. "Yeah it stinks, this whole thing stinks and I for one am not going to walk around all day with cramps because I may lose my job if I cut one."

4 Comments:

Blogger Ron Bramlett said...

Nice page.

I found your blog on Bobby's page and I have linked you on my blog:

http://www.ronbramlett.blogspot.com/

Please return the favor if you could!

Peace and take care!

-Ron

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Big Paulie said...

Or, everyone can "turn the other cheek," as it were, and funnel these resources usefully. Get everyone to, say, fart just after lunch, or at 10 a.m., or just before 5 p.m. The collective fartinacity would produce fartiferous windpower (technically known as FWP) that could power turbines installed via the air handlers connected to the rest rooms. "Rest room" -- now there's a euphemism for you. Where did that term originate from? Another topic for another day.

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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7:32 PM  

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