THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Sex At 16 Okay'd Eh

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Sex At 16 Okay'd Eh

Children in Canada are breathing a sigh of relief now that government officials have raised the age of sexual consent from the tender age of 14 to 16 years-old.

Officials say the reason behind such a bold move is because they believe this age group should be able to spell condom, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, chlamydia, abortion, sexual predator, immaturity, stupid, job and diapers before jumping into a sexual relationship.

One 11-year old girl, who spent countless hours lying about her age to make herself feel more important in this sexually charged world, became involved with a 44-year-old man over the internet. She said she is relieved now that someone has given her the tools and the law that will allow her to just say 'no' to his sexual advances without losing face or revealing her true age.

"Jack (not his real name) is always trying to get me to meet him in these really dark and dingy places and that scares me," she said hugging her blankie close to her chest. "I don't want anyone popping my bubble for a long time and this new law makes me feel it's okay to say no."

Still, the lure is out there in cyberworld, and many like this young child, are finding it more and more difficult to fend for themselves because they're afraid to talk to their parents about their stupid, stupid secret lives.

Local officials are hoping this will reverse the trend of teen applications for welfare that is currently draining the national budget.

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