THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Counsellors Urged To Support Weapons Bearers

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Counsellors Urged To Support Weapons Bearers

New research finds that children who bring weapons to school need counseling not expulsion.

The study shows that too many students are being sent home or kicked out of school due to the fact that they cannot fight the urge to bring their guns, knives or other weapons to school to prove just how 'bad' they are.

Canadian officials admit that the Ontario Safe Schools Act is not working as expected because they're losing way too much funding. For every day a student is absent the school loses between $30 - $50.

"It's a shame to expell these kids just because they've got a gun tucked into the waistband of their pants," said one official. "If they feel they need this kind of security while on campus, then we say 'why the hell not let everyone bring a gun to school' then at least the playing field will be even."

Citing that this law, under the guise of 'Zero Tolerence', seems to specifically target minorities, school officials are now demanding that the goverment should mind it's own business when it comes to matters that concern educating the children of Canada, according to the Ontario Human Rights Commission.

Their plan, which some feel may just work, is to provide every non-minority student with a weapon of similar power to the Latino, Black, or otherwise 'not white' students, as a means to "intercede in the interest of peace" between racial divides.

"Zero tolerance just doesn't work," said a spokesman for the education department. "We've decided to take matters into our own hands and spend the money we would otherwise lose by a students absence on bullet proof vests for all teachers, counselors and other school staff."

The new plan includes spending an enormous amount of money on training school employees in the art of negotiating a weapons standoff between students or faculty using the same methods the local police use. They will also be trained in hand-to-hand combat when students decide that they will only use their weapons as a last resort if they cannot work things out in a bloody brawl on campus.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Scary & on the money...

2:35 PM  
Blogger Kilroy_60 said...

Great to see you back posting again here! You have the power to make the world a better place; so is the power of laughter.

4:43 PM  
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5:24 PM  

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