Sexual Overdrive Ends Marriage

A 29-year-old London man was awarded $5.89 million dollars for having extramarital affairs.

The man claims that after falling from where he was perched while working for a bike shop, he hit his head and his penis suddenly hardened forcing him to lose control of his faculties. He claims that he can no longer be satisfied with a monogamous relationship and has had to turn to pornography and prostitutes to find satisfaction.

The judge who ordered the settlement said that his injury was in fact the reason his four year marriage fell apart and he should be compensated for his undue suffering.

"This man will have a hard life ahead of him," the judge said. "Based on the amount of sex he will need to try to heal his injury the court feels that he will need a substantial financial cache."

News of this unprecedented settlement has spread rapidly around the world and men have been seen senselessly falling down everywhere.

Hospital officials say they have seen an increase in severe head injuries but report that few are wreaking the benefits of an increase in sexual desire.

"We can only say that, for many men whose brains are located between their legs, the better and safer bet would be to run into the edge of a table."