THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Lethal Injection Too Much For Criminals

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Lethal Injection Too Much For Criminals

Both California and Florida Justice departments recently suspended the use of lethal injections to end the lives of convicted felons on death row.

Officials in both states met earlier this week hoping to work out a new system that would cause less suffering by those inmates facing the death penalty.

This falls on the heels of the recently botched execution of Angel Diaz who was executed in Florida last Wednesday for the 1979 murder of a Miami strip club manager. The inmate apparently suffered needless pain in part due to the high tolerance level to lethal drugs that he acquired during his time in prison. Officials were forced to administer a second dose to finish him off.

A spokesman for the consortium, which included Supreme Court Justices, leaders from the American Lawyers Association and an environmental group, said they have come up with a solution that will inevitably solve the problem.

"Inmates will be put to death by Lethal Ingestion," he said. "Every convict on death row will be fed meals from Taco Bell, The Olive Garden and will be forced to consume three portions a day of California grown lettuce and green onions in amounts large enough to eventually kill them."

The new bill is expected to pass hands down when congress reconvenes in January.

12 Comments:

Blogger Meloncutter said...

I believe that the Execution of a Death Warrant should be a pleasureable as possible. I vote for Lethal ejaculation.

Later Y'all

4:30 AM  
Blogger Morgen said...

okay, I was going to rant about how Hell-O it's the death penalty, but after I had a good chuckle over Meloncutter's "lethal ejaculation" I mellowed a bit.
Still, Hell-O, it's the Death Penalty.

Trust me, lethal injection is a much more humane way to die than if I was their executioner.

And on that note:
Ho Ho Ho
mo

7:02 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Melon I wonder if they would start a volunteer program to test your system. I'm sure there would be plenty of them, after all they are called in-mates.

Mo, I agree with you. I'm sure 'they' didn't give much thought to how they went about murdering someone and whether or not there was any undo suffering. Hell-o!

9:32 AM  
Blogger Matt-Man said...

They could make them listen to Ashlee Simpson resulting in death from a Lethal Inflection

12:24 PM  
Blogger Matt-Man said...

They could make them listen to Ashlee Simpson resulting in death from a Lethal Inflection

12:25 PM  
Blogger Matt-Man said...

They could make them listen to Ashlee Simpson resulting in death from a Lethal Inflection

12:25 PM  
Blogger WiƱai said...

yeah criminals kill a bunch of people, including children, and lethal injection is too much?...i say NOt eNOUGH.

they should be tortured.

and ashlee simpson? she rules!

3:07 PM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

I agree with everything that Vinicio says except the part about Ashlee Simpson. I don't like her. Sorry, but Ashlee isn't my cup of tea.

MJ

6:21 PM  
Blogger Sphincter said...

I think Jessica is far more lethal than Ashlee, though both quite suck (in my opinion.)

6:27 PM  
Blogger Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

very funny!

6:47 PM  
Blogger Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq. said...

This is great news, JB! Let the blood fall on the hands of these liberal farmers!

Oh, and while we're at it, Merry Christmas to you and yours, JB!

-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

8:17 PM  
Blogger Mimi Lenox said...

Interesting discussion here. I'll be back.

10:13 AM  

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