THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Penis Too Young For Amputee

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Penis Too Young For Amputee

A 44-year-old man in China returned his newly acquired penis this week after his wife complained that she could no longer keep up with his new found sexuality.

The man apparently lost his penis in a traumatic accident, which many speculate had something to do with a lawnmower he had crafted together using spare parts. He said he'd spent several months on a transplant waiting list before receiving the penis of a 22-year-old brain dead man but found after only two weeks both he and his wife were exhausted.

"I think of nothing else...sex, sex, sex," he said. "I see bump in pants and can't work...go see wife...she try hide from me but I catch her."

His wife said she was also relieved because during the two weeks he was able to use his new rather oddly swollen organ she could not get anything done.

"All day...all day...he try kill me with new penis," said his distraught wife. "I no want so much sex I don't get housework done."

She said she began having nightmares as a result of having to sleep with a kitchen knife under her pillow.

"I wait for opportunity to take it off myself but he too quick."

MiSon Wellhung's parents were disappointed by the news that their sons penis had caused such a disturbance and were still trying to decide whether or not to have the penis returned to them so they could bury it or whether they would offer it to another amputee.

"This time we look for someone younger if we donate again."

8 Comments:

Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

"...lost his penis in a traumatic accident." I don't know about you, boys, but any accident involving sudden penis loss and/or severance qualifies automatically as traumatic. Yours truly, John Wayne Bobbitt
p.s. give my best to Lorena -- oh, that's right; she already done took my best and ran off with it.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Evil Genius said...

Eeew...a once used penis is one thing, but a TWICE used one? Bury that damnable thing already!

(This was hilarious!!)

7:09 PM  
Blogger Meloncutter said...

Hay. Long time no comment. The fellers at blogger help got the bug fixed so we can comment between the two different versions of blogger now.

Hope all is well with you.

Later Yall.....

8:38 PM  
Blogger JR's Thumbprints said...

I just wish they were designed a little better so I can pass the kidney stone I have.

3:17 AM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

What's wrong with that guy's wife. Doesn't she know that a hard man is good to find. (*Blush*)

9:34 AM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Twyla said...

Please tell me that story isn't true. LOL But it was good for a laugh.

4:47 AM  

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