In Florida earlier this week a 61-year-old woman claimed that her irritable bowel ailment caused her to shoplift from a local grocery store.
She told police that she felt like shit and could not wait in line.
Authorities said that while the woman did not resist arrest she did keep deputies at bay for a period of of at least five minutes outside the market while she expelled an odd colorless gas.
She was arrested and released after posting $500 bail.