Seniors Easily Identifiable

Senior citizens can rejoice as Social Security offices across the nation have unleashed a new means of easily identifying those who qualify for benefits.

According to news reports one applicant who rushed to his local government office to beat a looming application deadline said that he inadvertently left his house without his wallet.

"I looked in my pockets and realized that I had left my wallet at home," he told reporters. "I offered to go home and come back in a couple of hours to show proof of my age but she said that was not necessary."

The woman who was processing the papers got up from her desk and closed the door to her office, then asked the 65-year-old man to remove his shirt.

"I have to admit I was a little dumbfounded by her request but I figured she'd been at this a long time so I did as I was asked hoping that it would save both of us a lot of time."

The man said that after seeing the curly silver hair on his chest she said that that was proof enough of my age, then she picked up her official stamp and pressed it onto the bottom of the form and I was issued my first Social Security check.

When asked by reporters why she used this method the processor told them that she had been doing this a very long time and although people have tried to fool her many times this method has always remained tried and true.

"When you see that line of white hair going down the chest and below the belt it's a good predictor that you are truly looking at a senior citizen."

Proud that he had overcome the wallet snafu the man said he explained to his wife what had happened and how things had worked out just fine but he was surprised that his wife was not thrilled.

"She said that I should have dropped my pants as well because then I would not only have gotten Social Security, I would likely have begun to receive disability checks as well."