THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Pot Raids Continue To Baffle Culinary Experts

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Pot Raids Continue To Baffle Culinary Experts

Local police have been stirring the pot so to speak over the past month in and around Los Angeles.

Dozens of raids perpetrated by law enforcement have netted thousands of seedlings whose street value is estimated upwards in the millions of dollars.

"This is just something that we can no longer tolerate," said one city official. "We feel that it's only a matter of time before these illegal growers will step up to the plate and turn over a piece of their profit, however, until such time, we will continue to bust them."

Many chef's around town feel this is unfair. The consensus is that the government has no say in how or when they grown their own pot.

"It takes eons for these tiny little aluminum or steel seedlings to take root and we have no other option except to grow them inside near the kitchen where we can monitor and care for them," said one chef who was irate because it has forced him and many other local cooks to stir fry everything in old woks. "It's not our fault that China has had a glutton fest on all our steel resources. We feel we've been forced underground to the point where we must conduct our business in a covert manor."

According to statistics, it takes a little over nine months for a seed to mature into a full grown pot. The process is extremely tedious, especially for those particular pots that must undergo a copper graft on the bottom to protect the contents from excessive heat, according to one source.

Union officials say they are in talks with many of their culinary members who are ready to dish up their own heat until police back off and the city stands down.

Restaurant patrons are also feeling the brunt of the pot raids. They say that no matter what they order, if it's cooked in a wok it tastes like Chinese food regardless of whether it's a steak or a loin chop.

"I feel I'm being pressured to feed myself using chop sticks in order not to offend the chef," said one customer who at last resorted to the children's chopsticks which are easier to use. "I can only hope that the government will see fit to leave these pot growers alone so we can eat in peace."

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