THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Hog Heaven: Be Careful What You Wish For

Friday, April 27, 2007

Hog Heaven: Be Careful What You Wish For

The smell of bacon sizzling on the stove these days may give consumers reason to pause after the government released information about what these hogs have been feeding on recently-recalled pet food that contains the chemical Melamine.

More than 6,000 hogs across the United States have been fed a steady diet of this tainted food since the re-call and some officals believe it has now bled over to several poultry farms as well.

"Our first clue that the chickens were becoming infected was when we discovered we couldn't break the shells on the eggs they were laying," said one farmer who agreed to take on the bad food in order to save a little money.

Melamine, used commonly for producing whiteboards, floor tiles, kitchenware, fire retardant fabrics, and commercial filters makes it the perfect chemical for industrial applications so it's no wonder many are asking the same question-why is it being put into pet food and why are they introducing it into the human food chain?

The recent recall has left most pet food isles at many markets nearly barren and many pet owners have resorted to making their own food. This has also had a major impact on senior citizens whose pensions and medicare benefits suffered major cuts.

An unidentified spokesman for one local manufacturer has tried to defend their position on why this additive seemed like a good idea at the time. He said it was done in hopes of making animals stronger and more durable.

"If it doesn't kill them, it can only make them stronger," he said.

But this information does not bode well with informed consumers.

"Are they fucking nuts" was a comment that rung out loudly across the nation.

The affects are already being seen across the U.S.

In California this week one unsuspecting family had to be hospitalized recently after experiencing unusual bowel movements.

"Last weekend our family had a pork loin roast for Sunday dinner," said the father who wished to remain anonymous. "It seemed to hit me the worst. Four hours after we finished eating I felt something odd happening in my stomach and went to the bathroom. Well, when I looked into the bowl afterwards I saw all these little brownish tupperware like containers floating around."

Little is know about the long term affects of injesting Melamine but one thing is certain, if you consume it on a regular basis you'll no longer have to fear stray rays from microwaves.

"That's the upside of this bizarre chemical scare," said an official from the Center Of Disease Oddities. "Someone could actually put you in a microwave and it won't hurt you because you will develop a tolerance for high heat very quickly."


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