THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Not Depressed Yet...Have A Baby...

Friday, April 28, 2006

Not Depressed Yet...Have A Baby...

Postpartum Blues strikes many new mothers without warning, much like a rattle snake whose sunning time is disturbed by an errant hiker. BAM! One moment you're fine--the next your frigging coming unglued.

The 'idea' of having a baby is far more tolerable than actually 'having' a baby.

During the nine months of gestation, the world revolves around you. Suddenly men who would normaly never give you a second look start opening doors for you, complete strangers give up their seats for you on a crowded bus and total strangers often times want to run their hands across your belly in hopes of feeling the little lump inside moving around.

Basically the world revolves around you and your glowing, now doubled in size, face!

Even the act of childbirth puts you in a whole new catagory. You become somewhat of a heroic figure due to the fact that you can endure all that pain often described as trying to push a watermelon through a key hole. No one ever mentions the litany of foul language filling the air during this grand effort.

But, for many a new mother the sole responsibility for the care of this new life lies in their hands twenty-four-hours a day, seven days a week, twelve months a year. They are thrust into post-natal oblivion with crappy diapers, spit up, ear piercing screams that derive from hunger, fatigue or another crappy diaper. Time is no longer on your side.

So what's not to love?

Then there's the sleep deprivation factor. Getting up two, three times a night, sometimes more to calm, change, soothe, feed or rock your little bundle of love back into sleep mode, which can turn your entire world around and send you reeling towards insanity.

New mothers are often abandoned by their childless friends who no longer wish to hear, for the millionth time, how baby's belly gas creates a smile like facial gesture or how your new little darling sleeps through six hours straight at night or even worse, how often you and your partner lay down bets as to how many feet your little darlin can projectile vomit.

What's not to love about this time in your life? You've got the world by the balls because you're now a family.

There are a million reasons to be depressed when you have a baby, like it or not, it's a fact of life.

What I want to know is why there are no studies on post-post-natal depression?

You know, the one that strikes when your beautiful little baby girl starts sprouting breasts somewhere around 13, or your darling little boy begins to boast about his newly acquired pubic hair.

Now that's depressing because often times it coincides with their 'I hate you, you don't know anything, don't worry about it, stay out of my room, faaaaack off' years that seem to linger on and on until, if you're lucky, they move far far away.

Depression statistics show that every year the use of drugs utilized to stabilize and smooth out brain glitches have increased enormously.

Personally, I cannot lay the entire blame for this increased use on our current political administration, although it seems like a reasonable excuse to find yourself feeling depressed.

Let's face it children drive their parents nuts, it's a fact of life, it always has been. No matter what age they are there's always something so let's all thank God for those drugs dedicated specifically for reassembling your chemical imbalance.

For those persons out there, and I will not mention names Tom, post-natal and post-post-natal depression is real and it affects millions of women.

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