THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Nude Carpenter...Mmmmm...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Nude Carpenter...Mmmmm...

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(AP) OAKLAND, Calif. A carpenter who keeps his clothes clean by working in the nude was arrested after a client returned home early and found him building bookcases in the buff.
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After reading about this carpenter who's favorite way to work was in the nude claiming that it kept his work clothes cleaner, my home improvement project came to a screeching halt.

You could almost see the smoke coming from the heels of my shoes as I scurried to put my tools away.

My closet building project, although small enough to do myself, suddenly became far too hard for a 'girl' like me to complete solo so I called up my rather deliciously handsome ex-neighbor, who earns a living doing jobs such as mine, and asked him if he could find some time to come take a look.

I must admit, my mind began to wander rather decadently when he agreed to come by and give me a hand.


[She watched as his hand curled around the shaft of the hammer. With each arc of his arm she felt her heart race, her body tremble as she watched his muscles ripple over and over again. Sweat had started to bead on his face and began to run slowly down his neck to his bare chest and down further to the dark patch of hair just below his bellybutton. She wondered if a cool glass of lemonade would sate him, cool him down, cool her down but somehow she just couldn't move.]

(Shakes her head to come back to reality)

I know that together the two of us can rip right through the project but I'm wondering if it would be politically correct to offer him a 'clothes optional' option. (Would his wife mind, would my husband mind? Mmmmmm!)

After all, we will be working in a bedroom and we've been friends a long time so I don't think he would be offended and...with any luck he wouldn't charge me any extra.

And, the real bonus is that he wouldn't have to wash his clothes at the end of the day.

Yes, I am totally in favor of nude carpentry, especially this carpenter, but, I have to admit this same idea would never fly for plumbers simply because of the position they generally are prone to if you know what I mean.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

Heeeee!! That was awesome. Such great visuals...mmm... I double dog dare you to extend the invitation to him. :)

4:17 PM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Actually, I think he'd rather enjoy it. After all, what's he got to lose, certainly not his virginity since we've played opposite each other back in our acting days.

I guess you'll just have to wait and see because I'll hopefully take pix's.

6:10 PM  

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