Bailout Bill Reaching Out To Millions

The financial crisis America finds itself in is nothing new. The adopted policy of 'been there, done that' leads everyone to believe that recovery from such monumental debt is doable.

Banking institutions are reaping the benefit of the bailout while citizens are sitting back asking themselves 'what about me'? What they fail to realize is that there is much fine print in this stimulus bill that reaches beyond those who put us in peril of losing everything.

The clause, which was added to ensure fairness, suggests that Viagra be distributed for free to every tax paying citizen. Opponents to this package state that this stimulus package will create a false sense of growth and will likely keep you up at night more so than before the shit hit the fan.

An unidentified spokesman for the government said this was a difficult but necessary decision adding that American's have always been between a rock and a hard place.