THE "NOT-SO" NEWS/JBLA: Go Ahead, Push My Button

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Go Ahead, Push My Button

Manufacturers of a new device say that it is now possible for woman to have longer, better and far more intense orgasms just by pushing a button. This is good news for many women whose partners are not only couch potatoes in the living room but in the bedroom as well.

Recently released in the United States, 'Slightest Touch' is designed to stimulate the bodies sexual nerve pathway.

According to the manufacturers instructions you just strap it onto your ankles after drinking an electrolyte drink and you're off to the races, however, since there is no need to touch the genital area the product maker cautions this device should not be used when operating a moving vehicle.

They also caution that you should follow directions completely because if you apply the patches in the wrong direction all hell will break loose with your toes.

They do not rule out using it at the movies, the grocery store or while enjoying a diner out providing you are able to conceal it beneath your clothing.

The device is suitable for most, but cautions women taking anti-depressants, women who are pregnant, and those who have heart problems not to use the Slightest Touch. This is good news in regards to availability since statistics say that nearly 85% of women are or will be on anti-depressants by 2009. Happy shopping ladies!

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4 Comments:

Blogger Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well good Lord girl...can't you leave the link to his little beauty? Just saying. Bwahahahahaha. Have a great day. :)

1:16 PM  
Blogger Meloncutter said...

I have visions of sticking something personal in a light socket. Is this similar?

Gawd!!!!

Later Y'all

3:37 AM  
Blogger jbwritergirl said...

Would I leave you high and dry Sandee? Hit the headline baby!!!! bwahahaha.

...and Melon-I'd stick to waxing your pears and maybe an apple or two before I stuck anything humanesque into an electrical socket. However, it would put you 'in charge', LOL

much love my friends

6:11 AM  
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5:18 PM  

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